


Slumber

by KyryeDuBarie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Insomniac Kei, KUROO IS A DORK, Law student!Kuroo, M/M, Music, fluff mostly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-01 12:16:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6518968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyryeDuBarie/pseuds/KyryeDuBarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not like it happens all of the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rapture

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason I can really see Kei liking the front bottoms, I'm also trying to explore their characters a bit, do tell me if it is too OOC.

Mauve curtains hang beneath golden eyes, and the paleness of the skin surrounding them only helps make them more glaringly obvious.

He lifts a hand to his cheek, silently brushing against the soft skin, and pulling it aside, disturbing the symmetry. Maybe it’s not a good idea to appear at school like this, maybe it’ll be too obvious that his exhaustion is due to more than being forced to wake up at an ungodly hour.

Maybe.

It’s not like it happens all of the time.

No it doesn’t.

He just has bouts of it, the insomnia, he can feel it creeping up on him days before it actually starts, until there comes a night when he realizes he’s been laying flat on his back, counting the cracks on the ceiling and trying to figure out which of his figurines makes which shadow when the stray car drives past his house –it doesn’t happen that often, not in Miyagi, at least-. It has been what? Four days now, he can usually hold out pretty decently for the first three, afterwards, it’s hell, perhaps getting worn out and tired to the bone will help.

Sometimes it does.

Sometimes it doesn’t.

His limit is seven days, though sometimes, when he does manage one or two hours per night, it can stretch far, far, far longer.

He considers ditching again, but he knows he won’t –Even when Suga-san was in the team and would have fussed over his disheveled form with his worried gaze, he would have borne with it, not to say anything about now, when the most sensible people in the team are Yamaguchi, who he can sidetrack and Ennoshita who doesn’t quite know how to deal these things without Suga yet- he’s no longer reluctant to admit how  much he’s come to enjoy the club, and the training camps… well, were where that acceptance really began.

Tsukishima Kei lifts the hairbrush to the place where his curls are sticking out from laying looking up at the ceiling for too long.

When he’s done, he sighs and goes to make himself a big cup of coffee.

.

.

He catches an hour of sleep in the bus.

It’s not enough, but it helps.

.

.

Shinsen high, is again, already ripe with life and movement when they arrive, summer is quickly creeping up on Tokyo and there are little yellow leaves floating around everywhere and flowers everywhere, some in full bloom, the early ones wilting already at the hint of suffocating heat that fills the air, though it’s nothing compared to what’s to come.

Miyagi’s summers are somewhat harsher than Tokyo’s but that doesn’t take away from the latter.

He notices that the purple under his eyes is fainter.

Good, Yamaguchi was looking worried.

Kei doesn’t dread running into the observant people from other schools, the ones he knows at least. Mostly because, the ones that would have asked have gone off to college and the ones that remain lean more towards giving people their space.

The morning is a bit too bright, or maybe he’s been up for too long in the darkness every night, who knows. They are set to stay for four days, and Kei will stay for another three helping his brother move into the apartment that he’ll be sharing with his girlfriend.

Tanaka should help too, he muses, after all, it _is_ the brute’s sister that Akiteru is shacking up with.

Oh well, he won’t have to spend as much time around the energetic ace like this.

Everyone is rubbing their sleep-heavy eyes, blinking at the place like it’s the first time they are there, even Hinata and Noya seem less energetic, although it does make sense, practice ran late last night.

They arrive at the gyms, this time around there’s no one to lead them there, he figures it’s because everyone assumes that they already know the way, and they do.

Upon entering, he searches for the new captains, they’re mostly what he predicted and not quite hard to find, altogether, he spots number one’s in the back of the shirts of Akaashi, Fukunaga, and some boy from Shinzen that he doesn’t remember very well.

It hasn’t been much longer than a second that they’ve been standing there, watching everyone do their stretches that a tall, long mass of energy and a mellower, blond haired head, both wearing red uniforms, approach them, more specifically Hinata.

Haiba Lev seems to have grown about an inch – Kei is sort of amazed by the fact that he has to look up at someone so much- and Kozume Kenma’s hair is now slightly longer, from what he can tell with the ponytail at least, it almost goes past his shoulder-blades.

 Hinata is on them in a second, almost being carried away by Lev while chattering excitedly at Kenma, and both Akaashi and Fukunaga have come to say hi to the team and greet Ennoshita, the new captain, properly.

As he expected, Akaashi’s eyes sweep over the purplish bags under his eyes and his pale skin, but he doesn’t seem like he’ll say anything, at least not for the moment.

As small chatter is made, Kei stands off to the side, sweeping his gaze over the gym, there are of course, many new people, that’s to be expected, though everyone who played in first and second year last year seems to have come back too.

Coach Nekomata sits to one side, speaking quietly to Shinzen High’s coach, he’s looking peaceful and smug as ever, and beside him…

Beside him is the one person he didn’t expect to see hanging around.

Kuroo looks just the same, except for the folder that he’s holding, and the gym shorts and tank top, which are black instead of red.

Across the gym, the older man seems to notice someone watching him, he turns his head around and his eyes meet Kei’s.

A slow, satisfied smile on one side, a stupefied blink and a wave on the other.

And then, Kei is pushed into the locker rooms by the throng of his own teammates, all of them eager to start practice.

.

.

.

Kenma asks him, that’s probably why he says yes –well that’s probably why the sly cat coach sent _Kenma_ to ask him- though he does really want to see his team again and make sure the new first years aren’t fucking up, well, he’s literally buried in schoolwork.

 _He’s sitting on the floor of Bokuto’s living-room, just_ looking _at the amount of papers and the two thick books that he’s been given over for Golden week._

_The owl himself has a similar pile of his own, and Kuroo sort of wants to scream_

_-well, there go his plans-_

_It wasn’t like he didn’t know from the get go that choosing law would probably cut down on his free time severely, but this was just cruel._

_-although he would’ve read the Roman Law book regardless, insofar, it’s his favorite subject-_

_“Man, Kuroo, how are we going to finish this, like ever?” Bokuto throws his head back, over the seat of the sofa “And I wanted to see Akaashi too”_

_Kuroo perks up “Well, we can always swing by for a couple of hours, they are doing the training camp in Shinzen again, right?”_

_“Yeah, but, the commute takes so long” the owl whines “I wanted to see my little disciple too”_

_“Who, bro? The shrimp?”_

_“Yeah” the owl turns to him, smiling mischievously “And I bet you wanted to see glasses-kun too. Bro”_

_Kuroo at least has the decency to blush and look away “Well, maybe?” He tries, and as Bokuto –who knows everything about his sort-of crush because Kuroo needed someone to rave about it This One Time- dissolves in cackles just as Tetsuro’s phone rings._

_Huh, Kenma? Wasn’t he in practice?_

_“Hello Ken”_

_“Kuro” The blond sounds bored “Are you doing anything on Golden week?”_

_That takes him by surprise “Uh, no? Well, I have a shitload of assignments and- “_

_“Good, could you be assistant manager for the week? Naoi sensei went to Nara; Coach says you’ll get a room for yourself since he’s staying at his daughter’s and you’ll be paid- “_

_“Wait, what?”_

So he ended up being the Assistant Volleyball coach while Naoi sensei is at his honeymoon, it is sort of taking on a bit more than he should.

Still…

He has his own reasons-the pay’s pretty good too-.

-and he _has_ worked out a deal with Nekomata, he’ll stay until three pm each day of golden week and then, well, there’s a pretty good public library close to Shinzen-.

Law waits for no man, after all, and neither does the world.

He’s observing the Fukurodani first years, there’s a lot of promise in some of them, the same can be said for Nekoma’s though.

Speaking of, he turns around to check on his own team, only to find that his tallest member and vice-captain have disappeared from sight.

It’s not hard to find them though because, well, Lev has grown, again, and his silver head is like a landmark across the gym, and beside it, the much shorter blonde and ginger heads are fairly easily recognizable, if not distinctive as well.

Karasuno has arrived.

Tetsuro doesn’t even try to avoid turning towards the golden eyes that he can feel on his face, he’s mostly accepted it, his attraction towards the younger man, so when their eyes meet, reveling in the surprised expression that has taken over Tsukishima Kei’s face, he smiles lazily at the other, just in time for Karasuno’s new captain to start pushing his team towards the changing rooms.

-a blush is sort of threatening to crawl up his face though-

-he’s not gonna let it-

.

.

“Kuroo-san” Ennoshita; the first to come out of the changing room smiles and shakes his hand “I didn’t expect to see you here”

“Yeah, well, our other coach went to visit his bride’s family in Nara and I was available.”

Karasuno’s captain shoots him a look that says that he doesn’t believe it’s just because of that at all “I see”

.

.

As his luck would dictate it, Karasuno’s first match is against Nekoma, and because of this, he gets to see Hinata dragging both Tsukishima and Kageyama along to greet him and Nekomata.

Nekomata smiles at them in his usual grandfatherly way, without losing so much as an ounce of his mischievous, cat-like aura, he asks after their coach’s grandfather and then releases them onto Kuroo.

Hinata has not grown an inch and is bouncing with excitement, Kageyama and Tsukishima have slightly grown and they look slightly more apathetic –although the former is smiling softly down at Hinata, hmmm-.

“Kuroo-san, didn’t think we’d see you here!” Hinata bows, beaming “Are you the new assistant coach?”

He laughs “Nah, our other coach got married, I’m just filling in for him”

“Ohhhhh” Hinata says and Tetsuro can’t quite keep his head turned to the shrimp any longer –well he manages to notice Kenma looking at the ginger from the other side of the court, but that’s neither here nor there-.

His eyes shift to Tsukishima; whose arm is still in Hinata’s firm grasp.

The blond notices his gaze, and bows “Hello, Kuroo-san”

When he straightens up again, Kuroo realizes there’s something different –aside from the slightly longer, thicker curls that Tsukishima sports.

-it’s no wonder he does notice because he spent more time than he cares to admit sort of gawking at the pretty first year with an amazing game sense for his age and experience last year-

And he can’t help but feel a bit worried.

There are dark shadows under the other’s eyes and his skin is a pasty white –while Kei always has been pale, this looks unnatural somehow-.

After some more small talk, most of it from Hinata, the three second-years are called to the court and Tetsuro stares after them.

It was probably just a bad night’s sleep, although he refuses to chalk it up to that completely.

Tetsuro turns his gaze back towards the court, just in time to see him jumping, back stretching and arching slightly towards the front, lean arms forming the block that slams Lev’s spike against the other side of the court, and body subsequently falling to the ground with practiced ease, almost too lightly, Kei has always been on the thin side, he muses, Tetsuro could probably pick him right up, carry him-

-this time, he does blush-

.

.

.

Kei crosses a look with Akaashi as they leave, last year, he’d probably have headed to the third gym after dinner, but the older man doesn’t signal for him to and so, Tsukishima doesn’t –without Kuroo and Bokuto It’d probably feel sort of weird anyways- though they did engage in polite conversation earlier.

-He kind of glosses over the fact that he’s hyper aware of Nekoma’s former captain’s absence after they took a break in the afternoon-.

He’s dead tired, though he doesn’t quite feel sleep hovering over him.

He still heads for the rooms.

Yamaguchi catches up to him, his shorter legs keeping a faster pace to stay by Kei’s side

“Tsukki, are you ok?” he turns his head to the side, eyes meeting his freckled friend’s face “I mean you were playing fine but you’ve looked tired l-lately and…”

The sentence ends off in a small mumble, Tsukishima strains, but he can’t quite catch any of it.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch the end of that “he says, voice gravely and eyes shifting to the empty hallway in front of them.

The shorter man hesitates and looks away, though his step doesn’t falter “I said that you looked like you haven’t been sleeping well”

Kei almost stops to consider his answer, he’s probably not being that obvious, Yamaguchi would realize since he knows Kei well after all, so getting flustered might just make things worse. Instead, Kei places his hand on the team room’s doorknob and turns back to Yamaguchi again “I’ve been reading a book, so I didn’t catch much sleep last night or the night before.”

He smiles, and though Yamaguchi looks like he has his suspicions, the green haired man asks “What book, Tsukki?”

“The one our Lit professor recommended” this seems to draw a blank “War and peace, remember?”

It’s not a total lie either, he’s not really into historic literature, and while the book is interesting and gripping, it is dense, and the language is complicated, he’s at around page two hundred now, and though it is definitely not what has caused his recent sleepless nights, it has helped fill them as he awaited the imminent dawn and the moment Kei has to get up and be a functional human being –well aside from his coffee runs at two or three am, the rich liquid help him feel less tired, in the end, it’s not like he’s gonna be able to sleep without having some, so Kei figures he’s better off doing so-.

Again, Yamaguchi hesitates “Is it that good?” well the shorter man is worried, that’s for sure.

Tsukishima shrugs “I’ve liked it, so far.”

“You’re not done with it yet?” the other squeaks.

Kei laughs, even if he were dedicating every minute of his insomniac hours to it, he wouldn’t be much further than halfway into the book. He raises an eyebrow at Yamaguchi “Have you seen the length of that thing?”

“Uh, no?” Tadashi says, and Tsukishima is glad that he brought the damned thing along.

He turns the knob and walks into the room, heading immediately for his backpack and pulling out the impressive tome, he holds it out to Yamaguchi, who turns it around in his hands a couple of times and then passes it back to Kei “See”

“I guess… but you should get some sleep Tsukki”

“I have”

“Are you-?”

And in that moment –Kei will thank the heavens for it, since Yamaguchi, despite not being particularly perceptive to most people, does know him pretty well- Hinata and Noya –whose energy has not been dampened in the slightest with becoming a third year- burst into the room, with a sleepy looking Kageyama trailing behind them.

“What’s _that_ Tsukishima?” the ginger speaks up first “Don’t tell me we have to read it; did I forget?”

Kageyama snorts “No one would give high school students that to read in a _week_ boke”

“Well, it could be for later Bakageyama”

Kei slips the book into his bag again.

“As if- “

“Some of us do have the extra neurons to read for pleasure, you know?” he says, without much bite, although it is enough to rile the two idiots out.

“What did you say?!”

“I’ll have you know…”

Tanaka comes in as well and joins the bantering, and though Yamaguchi’s worried eyes are still on him, all seems like it’ll be right in Kei’s little social bubble.

.

.

Lights out is at 10:30

There are no cracks in the ceiling to count here or cars that pass close enough for them to make shadows that he can entertain himself with.

He grabs his book, new earbuds and phone and sneaks past his teammates quietly at 12:43.

.

.

There’s a sort of faculty room close to the locker rooms –well it’s a room with a coffee maker and a few comfortable couches that the Shinzen coaches organize for the visiting ones- Tsukishima discovered it on the last night of their last training camp when the insomnia hit yet again.

There’s no one there at night, there’s a coffee maker, and he brought some of those little coffee packets just in case the sleeplessness continued.

He’s grateful for that, the tower of plastic cups and the gallon of water that seems to remain in the dispenser.

The room is down the same long, dark corridor as the gyms, so unless someone decides to come by, there’s no chance of anyone getting curious about the light and coming to check out what’s going on –in the end, what are the chances that any of the most likely, exhausted people in the rooms will get up for a midnight stroll? -.

It doesn’t quite happen like that, it’s certainly not a midnight stroll, but when Kei is pouring the water –three cups, it’s what the packet says it’s for- a tired, weary voice arises from the hallway.

“Huh? Someone left the light on?”

He recognizes the voice immediately.

At least it’s not one of the coaches.

Oh well.

A couple of seconds later, the doorknob jingles and in walks Kuroo Tetsuro with a face that’s the picture of exhaustion, a book thicker than Kei’s under his arm and a packet of coffee similar to the one that lays emptied beside the coffee maker.

The older man blinks at Kei a couple of times before he seemingly comprehends that yes, the younger man is there, and no, neither of them is asleep.

“Tsukki” he says in a drawl “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t call me that” Kei says and upon taking another look at the older man he decides to tease him, because, why not? “Well, as you see, Kuroo-san, I’m making coffee”

Kuroo snorts “Fine then, _Tsukishima”_ the dark haired man all but drawls out his name “I meat why you’re awake”

“I was under the impression that it was a normal state of human beings” Kei smirks, and sees in the other’s eyes the irritation hat starts forming.

“Ha, ha, funny” Kuroo says “Asleep is another, you know? Sleeping. That thing most people are doing at this hour”

Kei turns around and starts the coffee maker “Well I don’t see you doing so either”

Without looking back at Kuroo, Kei walks over to the softest looking couch with his book and plops down.

Not really surprisingly, Kuroo follows him, Kei feels the older man’s weight settle beside him “I don’t think you have two books on Roman and Greek law to finish”

Kei regards the man out of the corner of his eye, his head is resting on the back of the couch and his eyes are closed, his eternally messy hair even wilder as if he’s been running his hands through it fairly regularly during the past several hours.

“As good as” he says, and when Kuroo opens his eyes, he holds the book in front of him.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not a book you’d be assigned to read in high-school” he says “It’s on the program of one of my classes for next Year”

“Uh” Kei shrugs “I never said it was an assignment, I’m just in the mood for reading”

Narrowed eyes, the same color as bronze are observing him now, tracing over his probably renewed dark circles and slightly bloodshot eyes “So you can’t sleep, I thought so earlier too”

“I don’t really feel like it” Kei says.

“Uh huh” Kuroo says lifting his head and snapping the tone open, blinking at the extremely small font and the crammed letters. “After a whole day of physical activity you don’t feel like it.” His eyes rake over the characters “I’m your sempai, you know? I wasn’t born yesterday”

“Think what you will” Kei says, and opens his own book, singling in on the rather unpronounceable name of one of the characters.

They stay like that for a couple more minutes, there’s AC inside, so the room is cool, and Kei is acutely aware of Kuroo’s body heat beside him, radiating from his black clad –sweatpants and a tank-top- body.

It’s disconcerting, almost distracting, for some reason.

Until he notices the other’s head drooping towards the book, and hears the distant beeping sound of the Coffee machine.

Kuroo keeps drooping onto the book.

Careful not to move the other man, Kei gets up, setting his book down to the side on the low table by the sofa and heads to the coffee maker.

.

.

.

“Hey” something nudges him on the thigh “Hey”

A scent that reminisces of heaven has filled the space around him, and the room is at just about the right temperature.

Still, he’s a bit uncomfortable, his back hurts.

Sitting up for so long…

_Wait, why am I sitting?_

Last he remembers, he was reading about the legislation of Julius… Paulus, yeah so why?

Oh god, don’t tell him it’s morning already.

His eyes snap open, and he leans back with a start, back bolt straight as the room comes to make some sense in his head.

Someone snickers to his side, he turns to see them and his gaze clashes with golden eyes and thick square frames.

“Just like a cat, Kuroo-san” Tsukishima Kei says, he’s holding a plastic cup out at him, it too, smells delicious.

“How long was I asleep?” he says, reaching out to take the cup from Tsukishima’s hands like a man dying of thirst.

“About fifteen minutes, I’d say” the cup changes hands “It’s hot” Tsukishima says, and he’s not joking, Tetsuro’s always had a bit of a cat tongue too, but he says nothing “I was going to let you sleep, but then you almost fell over”

“Thanks” he says, sipping at the coffee “When I fall asleep I usually can’t wake back up on my own”

“You should sleep though” Tsukishima says, leaning back into the soft couch “If you’re tired enough to fall asleep like that” he looks tired too, though, has since morning, and his eyes are now somewhat bloodshot too.

“Nah” Kuroo answers, as the blond takes a gulp of the coffee, wincing, but grateful for the effects he’s starting to feel, he notices the other cradling his own cup in his hands and blowing into it, Tsukishima hasn’t even taken a sip. “I can fall asleep in any position. I’m hitting the sack as soon as I finish this chapter tho’”

Tsukishima smiles “Let me guess, you just started it”

“Tsukki! How did you know?”

“The coffee” speaking of, Tetsuro’s cup is already almost empty –and the coffee is finally at an acceptable temperature-, Kei’s remains full.

“Heh, always been perceptive haven’t you” he says and finishes the coffee, standing up with the cup in his and setting down his book “Hey, do you mind if I get another cup? I’ll make some more”

Kei looks up with his pretty eyes –now that he’s more awake, he’s also more aware of the younger man’s presence, he has to look away for a second- and shrugs “Sure, you seem to need it more than me”

And so, he goes to load the machine.

By the time he comes back with his coffee, Kei is resting with his head thrown back and one of his earbuds plugged in while the other dangles by his side.

The coffee cup rests empty on the table, beside his book, as if Tsukishima drained it all at once.

Kuroo looks at his textbook and looks back at Tsukishima.

“So, are you going to tell me why you can’t sleep?”

Open mouth, insert foot.

Tsukishima shoots him an annoyed glance and goes to put the free earbud in his ear.

Well, it’s not like it really is any of his business, Tetsuro muse, it seems he struck a nerve, he normally does with Kei.

And so, he panics “What are you listening to?” He really hopes he’s not blushing.

Again, Tsukishima glances at him and then sighs “It’s an American band, I don’t think you’ll know them”

“I’ll have you know my English is very good.”

 Tsukishima sighs “The Front Bottoms?” Yeah, he doesn’t know them “No?” Tetsuro shakes his head, Tsukishima smirks.

“Can I listen in?” Tetsuro says then, he doesn’t really know if it’s because he wants to see what kind of music Tsukishima likes or because his brain feels like it’s gonna liquefy itself if he tries to read another word about Julius Paulus right now.

Kei raises an eyebrow at him and wordlessly hands him the earbud, Tetsuro shimmies closer to him, their legs are about an inch from touching.

“I thought you had to study”

“I do” Is all the answer he gives, Tsukki shrugs again and lowers his slightly swollen eyelids to the phone’s screen, restarting the song.

_You caught me doing push-ups in the morning_

_Before everyone else woke up_

The band’s sound it’s a bit unique, but that is not a bad thing.

In fact, he finds himself liking the tune, not to speak of the fact that some of the song’s lines could be applied to him.

_I’ve got them bad boy blues, baby._

Well, he does.

“So?” Tsukishima is staring at him; he wonders for how long he has been.

“They’re cool” he says, trying to sound nonchalant, he has a feeling that he manages to.

Kei turns back around.

God.

Cheeks burning, he reaches for his textbook, he can feel Tsukishima looking at him, but the blond doesn’t make any comments, and limits himself to throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling with big honey-colored eyes.

Tetsuro stares hard into the book, and purposefully repeats each line in his mind.

The chapter has three parts, he’s finishing the second when he feels his mind fogging up, at some point, Kei picked up his own book and his eyes are now glued to the characters printed in the white pages.

Tetsuro throws his head back, closing his eyes and promising, _promising_ , that it’s only gonna be for a second.

The song that’s playing has good lyrics.

_It's a black eyed trust, respect with pain._

_A love I'll learn when I've been through the same._

And then he’s floating in a strange haze of comfort, and the sofa beneath him seems to let him sink further into its softness, the warmth beside him seems to be somewhat in contact with him.

The sleep is dreamless and comfortable, the kind that an exhausted man needs.

He wakes up with his cheek pressed against something warm and hard, as his eyes open and the room swings into focus, he realizes that there’s music playing in his right ear still, although it seems to be some kind of anime song this time, and the hard thing he’s leaning into is not so much as hard as it is bony, it’s Tsukishima’s shoulder.

For a moment, upon seeing the two books neatly placed on the coffee table, he believed that the other man is asleep, and so, he pushes himself off of the other’s frame –with reluctance, because despite the relative discomfort of the bony shoulder, he was happy in that position- as softly as he can, fearing to wake the other up.

Yet as soon as he moves, Tsukishima’s voice fills the room.

“Good, you’re awake” He’s staring at the ceiling again, with eyes half-open, though they look less swollen, maybe he did catch some sleep? “We should get going, it’s almost six”

“Are you ser-“ he says “Did you sleep at all Tsukki?”

“A bit”

Before he can ask any more questions, the younger man gets up and gathers his things, proceeding to head for the door, but not before veering to the left, to serve himself some of the long forgotten coffee.

“Won’t that be cold?” he says before being able to stop himself, despite feeling rested, Tetsuro’s mind’s still a bit foggy.

The other shrugs his sagging shoulders “I don’t particularly care, Kuroo-san”

Tsukishima turns around again.

“Hey, Tsukki!”

“Uh?”

“Thanks”

And then, Tetsuro turns around to pick his own things up, all the while feeling a familiar warmth expanding and taking root inside his chest.


	2. Beffudled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized I didn't mention in the first chapter, most of Kei's experiences here are based off my own insomnia bouts (one of which spawned this chapter so early, I'm usually a once a week updater) thanks to the people who reviewed for you kind comments :)  
> (Have I ever mentioned that I can't write anything that's not at least a little bit angsty, because I can't)

All through the day, he expects the older man to do something, he expects him to make some comment or try to overfeed him the way Sawamura and he did in the past.

Of course, as it is the case when one is expecting something, the day blurs together in an entirely too slow daze, he’s wondering when the move’s going to be made, and he’s sure it will, however, for some reason, and despite the little smirk that adorns the side of Kuroo’s mouth, the man is rather quiet all the way through lunch, and even dinner, when he reappears from wherever it is that he goes for afternoons.

By the time Kei puts his plate away and is surreptitiously slipping towards their quarters –so Nishinoya sempai won’t start raving about how a huge guy can eat so little and still have energy, Tch- he’s really starting to believe that he’ll be left alone.

That’d be ideal, he doesn’t want his sempai trying to keep an extra eye out for him, it’d probably turn him a bit crazy.

He’s managed to successfully slide out of the cafeteria when a large, strong hand pulls him to the side, with strength and roughness that do not really befit the captain of Nekoma.

Kei turns around sharply to ask him what the hell he’s doing, before he realizes that the hand does not belong to Kuroo at all, instead, neck craned to the side, golden eyes wide and hair sticking up as straight as ever is Bokuto Koutarou.

“Hey, hey, hey, long time no see, glasses-kun.”

“Eh? Bokuto-san?”

He is then rather unceremoniously pretty much dragged to the third gym, -as the owl chatters away incessantly- with Bokuto’s steel grip all but clamping around his forearm like a vice, tight enough that he’s sure that if he struggles he might walk away, only a limb short.

It’s not like he has much to do either, so he lets himself be dragged without much resistance.

Initially, it’s only the two of men there, and it’s Bokuto tries to challenge him to a serve match.

Yeah.

About ten minutes later, the door to the gym is slid open to reveal a calm looking Akaashi and behind him, ongoing mayhem.

For some reason, Kuroo is ruffling a disgruntled Hinata’s hair and Levi is all but jumping behind them like an over excited, one hundred and ninety-seven centimeters tall puppy.

Then they are all laughing and Kei wonders what the _hell_ is going on.

“I got your message, Bokuto-san” Akaashi says, seemingly either oblivious or simply acclimated to the very loudness that surrounds him.

Fukurodani’s captain enters the room with measured steps and shrugs off a loose sweater –which Kei can’t figure out how the other man can stand, it’s getting to the point where even he, wishes that he could just walk around in an undershirt-and turning back around to look at them.

-Tsukishima doesn’t miss the longing look that Bokuto shoots at the man; well, it’s not like it’s easy to miss, but there’s something that’s complex about it, there’s a miss of longing and deep-rooted affection woven around the obvious arousal, and Kei wonders if there might not be depths unexplored by both him and the two owls there-.

“Hey, Tsukishima!”  he turns around, and finds the very sun walking towards him with fast, wide steps that compensate for the man’s shorter legs and an aura of pure _energy_ surrounding him, though the day has been grueling and long “Did you know Bokuto-san was coming? Why didn’t you tell me?”

One would expect that kind of sentence to come from a somewhat annoyed, or jealous person, instead, all that is evident in Hinata’s tone is malice-less wonder.

“I had no idea, he deadpans.”

“Well, _I_ didn’t know I was coming” Bokuto answers, perching his elbow on top of his former setter’s shoulder –Akaashi seems unaffected- “Kuroo invited me last minute, I have to leave before the trains start running, though, so we’re going to wring you guys out good before eleven.”

“Wring us out, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi asks, again, looking composed, although this time it does seem that there’s a sort of shake to his voice.

“Just a thing that I asked Bokuto here help with” Kuroo says, from his place by the ball cart, and then Kei understands it all “And a little bet we’ve got going on. We’re gonna be whipping you all into shape tonight”

Lev and Hinata cheer, Akaashi grimaces slightly, and Tsukishima looks at his phone.

It’s 8:11.

If his hunch is right –and it probably is, it’s not like Kuroo to leave well enough alone when he seemed so concerned about it- the two older men are going to be trying to tire him out for the next three hours.

Kei’s not opposed to it, the night before, tired beyond belief and with the warmth of Kuroo resting on his shoulder, he never managed more than ten minutes at a time and it’s getting close to the point where it becomes completely unbearable and he starts slowly but surely losing his grip.

Maybe getting wrung out until all he knows to wish for is a bed is what he needs, and in that case, he’s not going to complain.

_Uh, if I am this desperate already, it might be for the best._

He adjusts his glasses and looks straight at the dark haired man currently smirking at him “Are we playing three on three then?”

“Actually” Kuroo says, the smirk widening, showing all of his perfectly white teeth “Bo and I were thinking that you three second years could benefit from some receiving practice” he looks thoughtful for a second “Shrimpy and Lev need to get some blocking in too”

“Woah~, you want us to receive Bokuto-san’s spikes?”

Hinata and Lev have gone starry-eyed, Kei has gone a little pale. While there is less risk of him dislocating a finger again while receiving instead of blocking, Bokuto’s spikes are probably the same as ever, judging by how the man seems to have buffed up in muscle instead of fat since the last time Kei saw him.

“Not only his, squirt” Kuroo jokingly rests his elbow on Hinata’s shoulder, Kei finds himself amused; if anything, because of the delightfully annoyed look on the redhead’s face –Hinata has not grown an inch, even if everyone else, from their year, seems to have to- “Mine too”

“Let’s do this!” the redhead bellows in time with Lev, and in that moment, Kei’s eyes meet Tetsuro’s.

It feels like a shock of electricity racing around his nerve endings, like it’s traveling just below his skin in the most tender place between muscle and skin where the synapses are all but bare, and maybe it’s the fact that despite feeling tired enough to lie down until the end of the galaxy comes about, he’s sure he wouldn’t sleep for so much as ten minutes at a time, but it leaves Kei light headed, with a jittery feeling in his legs.

And it only gets worse.

The eye-lock is broken by an interfering Lev, that snaps him out of his trance, as he drops down to stretch hastily, ignoring all eyes in the room that threaten to cross with his, uncaring as to who he owners of said eyes are.

When they finally get around to forming to each side of the net, he finds himself standing to the left of the court, Hinata is in the middle, looking utterly concentrated, and to the other side of the net, Lev is sporting a smile that stretches from ear to ear of his Slavic face.

Kei allows himself to smile, just a little.

On the other side, Akaashi is standing in the middle, ball already in his hands, and observing the rest of the players with interest. Kuroo and Bokuto are standing further back, both smirking and mockingly sizing each other up.

“Let’s start” the setter says, and Kei is wholly unprepared.

He’s wholly unprepared because both of the men behind Akaashi dash forward with equal intent, with equal speed, they don’t break eye contact until both of them are jumping towards the net, and it’s only then that he notices that the ball has left Akaashi’s hands, despite the captain having been silent since the start of Kuro and Bokuto’s little dash forward.

It was useless to look at the setter, he knows, because, until the ball actually left his hands, Akaashi probably didn’t know yet, who he’d be tossing to.

Kei follows its arch, and then, his eyes shift rapidly to the man about to spike it.

And the world seems to be going all too fast and in slow motion at the same time, he sees the arched back and the folded legs and the undershirt that Kuroo is allowed to wear because he’s no longer a student of any of the high schools that rides up, exposing a couple of planes of tanned skin.

He sees the narrowed eyes and the lips pressed into a tight line, the hair being played with by the phenomena of inertia and it knocks all purpose and complex thought out of him.

The lips move and the hand whips forward, and Kuroo must have gotten stronger in the past year, because, as Kei realizes that the senseless noise which he just registered on his ears was actually his last name, the spike hits not twenty centimeters from his foot, leaving a sibilant sound in the wake of its explosive collision with the floor and an astounded silence afterwards –it reminds him of Sawamura and Nishinoya’s first reactions to Oikawa’s serves-.

The world lurches into motion again then, and he can feel blood rushing to his cheeks and his mind reeling with thoughts of what he _saw;_ what he saw because he was looking at it so intently, because it captured his attention so.

Maybe the insomnia is finally turning him into those head cases from Sunday midnight tv shows.

Truth is, while he’s known for a while that the man was attractive, and has been surrounded by attractive men for even longer, this is the first time that something baffles him to this point.

Tsukishima shoves the thoughts back, shoves everything in a small box on the back of his head, and in a last move of what constitutes the only means by which he can save his pride now, he allows a half-smirk to crawl over his face, and over Hinata’s exclamations of “Wooah, Kuroo-san I didn’t know you could do that now”, Bokuto’s boasts of “Wait ‘till you see what _I_ have learned”, Lev’s “each that to me sempai” and Kuroo’s claims of “My new coach said I had to round up the skillset a bit” while his stunned eyes won’t leave Kei’s face.

Tsukishima says “One more”

.

.

Akaashi Keiji is watching, amused, quiet, it’s as obvious as can be, he muses, and sets again, again.

Perhaps by the weekend, things will have changed, hopefully for the better.

He too, ignores the itching in the back of his neck –eager eyes that soften just the slightest bit when he’s looking into them- and the feelings shoved in a box on the back of his head.

.

.

He definitely underestimated Kuroo and Bokuto.

He definitely did.

Sweat is dripping down Kei’s body in rivulets, his shirt is soaked and his hair is sticking to his forehead, all he wants now is a good, long shower.

-and to sleep, but lately, that’s kind of a constant-

To be fair, no one else is in better shape. After Hinata and Lev got sick of receives and whined for a good, uninterrupted ten minutes, Kuroo _finally_ decided to split into teams and play normally.

That didn’t quite mean much though, because after a couple more episodes like the first one, Kei threw himself headfirst into the game, uncaring of whether he was tired or his legs ached –to make things worse, he was playing with Bokuto and Akaashi, so that meant that he faced the messy haired man more often than not.

And so, to avoid looking like an idiot again, Kei immersed himself completely, earning praise from even _Bokuto_ on it.

And now he feels like a couple of small elephants walked all over him.

Yeah.

They all drag themselves to the showers, and he takes his time, Hinata and Lev can be heard exiting the room after about five minutes, Bokuto and Akaashi do not take much longer either, Kei slumps against the wall and looks up at the steam filled room.

His stall is towards the end.

He does not understand, why he’s so hyper aware all of a sudden, how it can affect him to such a point.

And then, he hears a shower turn on, the stalls are not very high, of course, they cover all that there’s a need to cover, but for people that are mostly over the one hundred and eighty cm mark, some of their heads and sometimes their necks can be seen.

Kei averts his eyes, even if the image is already burned into his retinae by the fluorescent light of the shower room.

Water soaks the dark hair, it runs down over skin slightly darker than Tsukishima’s own and then gets lost behind the glass of the stall, drifting down to places that Kei doesn’t want to think about lest he ends up doing or so much as feeling something that will make things more complicates.

He turns around pointedly and as quick as he can, washes off the remaining suds of soap from his body, before making his way down the stalls and into the changing rooms with a gaze firmly set on the floor and nowhere else.

The clothes come on quickly, he forgoes socks in favor of some indoors slippers that are fresh enough to feel like sandals, and slides some sweatpants and an undershirt on.

-He forgot a jacket, but it’s not like he’s planning to go back to the room for a while, he has his earbuds and his book and his coffee and he knows, the way only a person who is used to such episodes that he’ll likely get no sleep, even if he’s tired as hell and his muscles are protesting up a riot-

The Shinzen building is cold when he goes in, Kei shivers, it’s all darkness and empty corridors, it feels nice.

He checks a conveniently placed watch in one of the walls.

A quarter to midnight.

He’s almost at the improvised faculty room, the safe haven with the coffee machine when he sees an unnatural shadow in the corridor to his right.

Fearing a night guard or a coach equally as insomniac as him, he recoils and presses himself behind some lockers, hunching over so the crown of his head doesn’t stick out.

Hushed voices become recognizable as soon as he yanks his earbuds out, though.

“…so much… so much, you can’t know how much, Akaashi” Bokuto’s voice manages to be loud even when he’s whispering, Kei knows he’s intruded on something fairly intimate, after a couple moments of silence, he peeks around the lockers hoping they’re gone, instead, he’s treated to an image of Akaashi’s face buried deep into the crook of the former captain’s neck.

Bokuto’s arms are crossed over Akaashi’s back, large hands splaying over it, and thumbs rubbing soothing circles into his waist, they’re both taking deep breaths, as they hold each other tightly.

“I don’t know, Bokuto-san… I do too… I” Akaashi finally says “You know I…”

“Shh, I do.”

“Then…”

“You’re amazing, Akaashi”

Kei has no idea what’s going on, except for the feeling that it’s much deeper and more complicated than he could ever get around to imagining from the scattered phrases and the awareness of the fact that for some reason, the painful clenching of envy is dancing around in his chest, though it makes little to no sense.

There’s something in the tilt of their voices that triggers it.

“I do have to go” Bokuto says, and Kei hears a sharp intake of breath, and then the owl continues “Or I could always stay in your sleeping bag, you know?”

A muffled giggle –or a hybrid between one and a sob, Kei can’t quite tell- “How’d we explain that to the team”

“Just say I couldn’t stay away anymore”

“Bokuto-san…”

“I can’t”

Another long silence, and finally, finally, Kei hears footsteps walking down the corridor, he makes a dash for it, out of the corner of his eye, he catches a glimpse of their entwined hands, their brushing shoulders.

.

.

Whatever he ran into at the corridor leaves a lasting impression.

There was something, a fragile tenderness about everything that somehow wormed its way into Kei’s brain.

The clock marked a quarter past twelve when the coffee machine beeped.

Right after, the door was swung open

It didn’t startle him; Kei had wondered if the other man would be coming.

“Was that not enough to make you sleep?” The man’s deep voice is playful but also mildly annoyed.

“Hmm no” Kei says, pouring two cups. “Not for me, and not for you either it seems”

He leaves the extra one by the machine, Kuroo seems to understand, because when he plops down next to Kei in the couch, it’s in his hand. The dark haired man lifts the gargantuan book that he’s been carrying under his arm since he came in “Law waits for no men”

“And you’re a bit of a nerd, aren’t you?” Tsukishima remarks without much malice.

Kuroo blushes.

Kei ignores whatever that’s doing to him.

The older one clears his throat and takes a sip at the coffee “Anyway, I’m just staying until one, this time, once I’m done with Herennius, I’m hitting the sack”

“Good for you” Kei hums and proceeds to look for some suitable song on his phone.

Kuroo groans “You should too”

“No thank you, I’m not sleepy” Kei says, politely.

“You look like you’ve been in finals for the last three months, somehow, I doubt so” the other shoots back.

“I’ve never liked sleeping much” it’s a total lie, but oh well, when he’s this deep in.

The man frowns, little creases forming between his eyebrows “How can someone not like sleeping?”

“By not liking sleeping” Kei deadpans and turns back to his coffee and his phone.

“Tsukishima, you really need to sleep”

Kei pauses, takes a deep breath, the worried tone drives him insane, doesn’t this man know how much he _wants to?_ –of course, he doesn’t, Kei hasn’t told him-. He pauses for a second, and, without turning to look at the man, he responds, poignancy in his every word “Please drop it, Kuroo-san”.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Kuroo look down, and he does drop it.

But not for long.

The man spends the next hour and a half in silence, eyes skimming over the pages of his book, occasionally frowning at nothing in particular, hunched over the table.

The exhaustion is clear in his frame; Kei ignores it the best that he can.

Finally, when the blonde can see a big number five in one of the pages, Kuroo closes the book and looks back at him, purpose written in his eyes.

“We should go to bed”

Kei resists the urge to roll his eyes. He _knows_ the other is not doing this to bother him but still. “I’m sure you can get there on your own, Kuroo-san”

“Tsukki! You look tired, I bet you didn’t sleep a wink last night” The blond looks away. “See?” A large hand gently tugs on Kei’s sleeve “C’mon. Aren’t you cold at least? And look at these?”

A tanned hand reaches out, and Kuroo must have miscalculated, because his warm thumb brushes right against Tsukishima’s purplish lower eyelids.

Kei shivers.

He is, it’s chilly due to the AC and even Kuroo is wearing soft, long socks and a warm oversized jacket that Ki wonders where he got because it really hangs on him.

Kei clears his throat looks away “A bit. I can bear with it, go ahead, Kuroo-san”

Another two tugs at his sleeve that Kei doesn’t bother to acknowledge later, the hand let’s go, Kei thinks the man is getting ready to leave, until he feels Kuroo sink back into the couch.

“Shouldn’t you be going to your room if you’re going to sleep?” he says, it comes out harsher than he thought it would, a slight pang of guilt bites at him.

“Oh?” the man smirks “That? No, I’ll keep you company until you go to sleep” the dark bags under the man’s eyes wrinkle.

“I’d say _you_ need it more than me” Kei annotates.

“I can bear with it” Kuroo says “Don’t they say college is all about these things?”

“I…guess so” He answers, dubious. “Please don’t try to convince me like this Kuroo-san”

A side glance is thrown at him “Oh ho? who says I am?”

Annoyance fills his chest “You… oh, whatever, stay if you want”

“Fine” the older quips.

“Fine” Kei says, and puts in his other earbud, submerging himself in his book.

Time passes at a strange pace, indistinguishable as slow or fast, images appear and disappear in his head, Russia, Europe, the characters as he imagines them, the events as he can almost hear them, his eyelids and head feel heavy, his chest empty, and yet, he continues.

It isn’t until he notes that the man beside him has long since stopped stirring and moving around that he deigns to shoot a look in his direction.

The position is probably terribly uncomfortable for sleeping, head craned to one side over the shoulder, back awkwardly bent.

He looks uncomfortable.

Tsukishima lifts a hand, forgoing the peaceful, handsome face and instead nudging the other man in the shoulder.

“Hey” he says “Kuroo-san”

However, the man must be quite tired, since he barely even stirs, mumbling something incoherent and shifting slightly to the side.

“Kuroo-san” He pokes again, and bleary eyes open “Uh, please, I’m tired”

That’s why you should go to your room”

Kuroo’s eyes close again.

“Just let me… for a little while”

“Kuroo-san.”

But then, like a hand that rises from the covers to turn off an annoying alarm clock, like the exhausted body that he currently owns, Tetsuro surges forward, sloppily draping himself over Kei’s legs, one of his hands all but hanging from the blonde’s shoulder.

He whines something nonsensical, that somewhat seems to end with _please_ and Kei remembers the night before when Kuroo was also, clearly exhausted and the rather grueling practice today and he doesn’t have the heart to, instead, he nudges the body into lying less convolutedly on his lap- although the hand stays where it is- and as his eyes fall on the man’s sleeping face, he mumbles “Shh…”

The song that’s playing in his earbuds doesn’t quite help.

_I knew that look dear_

_Eyes always seeking_

_Was there in someone_

_That dug long ago_

_So I will not ask you_

_Why you were creeping_

_In some sad way, I already know_

Kei has never felt so surreal.

Warmth blooms along the surfaces where they are touching, Kei throws his head back and groans.

.

.

.

The first thing he notices is that his back doesn’t hurt as it did when he fell asleep, bits and pieces of his last moments of consciousness come back to him, and Tetsuro remembers his mild annoyance, his concern.

Bleary eyes open and as the light stabs at them as if he’s done it a personal wrong, he manages to make out a few things of his surroundings.

Outside, it’s still pitch black, and above him, there’s something he never quite thought he’d end up seeing, much less in a situation like the one he’s currently in.

Kei is draped over the arm of the couch, glasses surprisingly not askew and lips parted only slightly.

Figures he’d be a pretty sleeper.

Tetsuro has pretty much no idea why he’s lying on the blonde’s lap, though, he figures he’ll ask later.

A clock on the wall tells him that it’s barely three, Kei can’t have been asleep for more than an hour then.

Tsukishima’s torso is slightly curled in on himself, and he’s shivering slightly.

Tetsuro eyes his jacket.

Spread over the two of them, it would suffice, he bought it especially in a shop for larger people so it would be long and loose and all around comfortable.

He’s glad that the kid is sleeping.

Carefully, carefully, he pushes himself up and slips out of the jacket, extending it over both of them. And he presses up against the other’s side.

After a couple of minutes, he notices that there’s music coming from Tsukishima’s earbuds, he’s about to reach for the phone and turn it off when he gets curious.

The song is starting, it’s in English, and it’s gorgeous.

_In a world of glitter and glow_

_In a world of tinsel and show_

_The unreal from the real thing is hard to know_

_I discovered somebody who_

_Could be truly worthy and true_

The singer has a gorgeous, deep voice, and the tranquil song lulls him back to sleep, comfortable and warm before he has time to think of much else.

.

.

“Kuroo-san, Kuroo-san” For the second time that day his eyes open to find Tsukishima’s face, he groans and rubs at them, hoping to fix the blurry images. “It’s six already, someone’s going to find us here.

“Uh, already?” he pouts and stretches “I was comfortable Tsukki”

“Everyone must be about to go for morning runs” the blonde muses.

Kuroo shrugs “We should sleep some more”

It’s partly because he’s worried about Kei, the blonde is acting as if there is nothing wrong with having, _at most_ slept for around four hours in the span of two –probably three- days, partly because despite the strange setting and the way that sleeping on the couch makes his back arch like he’s a couple of decades older, whatever little sleep he got leaning into Kei was amazing.

“It’s been enough, Kuroo-san” The taller man gets up and tries to smooth out the wrinkles in his clothing, Kuroo slips on his jacket as he watches.

“You have insomnia” He sees Kei freeze, perhaps it was not the right thing to say for the moment, but he needed to.

It’s not even a question too, it’s an assertion, he’s seen a good share of sleepless and this is definitely nothing else, he’d have probably heard if the blonde had nightmares, which doesn’t seem like him either way, and then there’s the fact that Tsukishima doesn’t seem invested enough in ‘War and Peace’ to quit _sleeping_ just so he can finish it faster.

The blonde turns around, he’s trying to hide his annoyance, but the twitches at the corner of his mouth and at his left eyebrow are giving him away.

“Just slight episodes, Kuroo” he says, for once forgoing the honorific “I’d appreciate it if you kept it quiet”

“I will” he hesitates “Haven’t you thought of finding help?”

Tsukishima has his hand on the doorknob already, he is half turned towards Kuroo, but his eyes are stuck on the door “What for?” he asks, tone unusually devoid of arrogance for one such sentence coming out of Kei’s mouth “It doesn’t affect me at all”

And then he opens the door and is gone, Tetsuro finds himself all but dashing down the corridor to catch up with him.

.

.

He hears a little, almost inaudible sigh “Let’s talk about it after practice”

Kenma’s voice sounds bored, like always, but there are things glimmering behind his irises that tell Kuroo that he doesn’t only have things to listen to from him, but also, plenty of things to tell… and to ask.

.

.

He talks to Bokuto first, though, by some amazing coincidence –or not- Tsukishima has dinner early and proceeds to disappear from anywhere anyone can find him.

-He even asks Yamaguchi, but the freckled boy simply shakes his head and states that he’ll be back in time for lights out-.

-For obvious reasons, this doesn’t quite convince Tetsuro-.

Still, with how big Shinzen is, he could run up and down the whole place all night and still not find the blond, so he decides that he can probably come back on his own.

He’s survived this long…

_Haha very funny_ the little voice in the back of his head says. _What you mean is that you’re worried._

Tetsuro shushes the damned thing down and makes his way towards Nekoma’s room, a peek inside is enough to reveal that, no, Kenma isn’t there, and that is strange in and of itself, and since there’s actually no one inside but two stray first years whose names he can’t even quite remember, he opts to stay outside and sit on some random bench by the window while allowing his mind to wander into thoughts that he knows he has to explore at _some_ point, lest he wants them haunting him at night.

-He already sleeps significantly less with uni and stuff, no need to add restlessness to the list-

As he looks at the dying light outside the window, he wonders why it seems like it was so easy for him to develop feelings for Tsukishima; because there is definitely something odd about it.

He’s always been pretty detached from those things, he had the random girlfriends or boyfriends in high school, but in the end, the relationships ended up feeling too shallow and he had all too little time for them, what with volleyball and stuff –and most of them ended things themselves too, sometimes saying  that he didn’t really like them, a couple even implying they were jealous of Kenma- and it stung for a little while, before he bounced back up, smiled and continued his life like they were naught but a bump on the road.

And yet, this boy from a town three hundred kilometers away and probably one of the saltiest attitudes ever, just up and swept him off his feet with a pretty jump, a distracted laugh and a snarky comment.

Tsukishima seems pretty oblivious to it too, Tetsuro wonders if it’s even a good thing.

And now, just as he was at the point where responsibilities threatened to peacefully swallow his silly crush up, he just had to accept the assistant coach position and sweep away whatever progress that he has made in the past few months to forget about it.

He can’t even deny it anymore, he’s probably in too deep, he can’t deny that the younger man is making him react in every way that it’s possible to react; and that the fact that the blond is suffering from something that might turn serious only amplifies things, because Tetsuro is a worrier, at least, for the people close to him and, well-

_Bzzzt. Bzzzt._

The vibration of his phone brings him back to the world, he checks the screen first, only making sure and then slides his finger across the skin and holding it up to his ear.

“Bro!”

“Bro!” Bokuto’s bellowing voice greets him from the other end of the line.

“Are you coming down today?” He asks.

Bokuto laughs “Nah, I’ve got a lot piled up, maybe on Thursday”

Tetsuro thinks with dread back at the pile of still unfinished assignments that rests on his desk –he still has time and already started them all, still, it makes him uncomfortable to know that he has a lot of things to finish- “You and I both man.” He pauses for a second, deciding that he might as well go to the point “So? Did you talk to him?”

He’s sure Bokuto’s looking crestfallen on the other end, even if, being sincere, the whole Akaashi thing is most likely the reason why he called –Bokuto has a hard time figuring out Akaashi’s feelings at time, Kuroo is not much better than him, but he does have some outsider insight to provide- “Uh, well, sort of?”

He sighs “You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific, Bo”

“I’m not sure I managed to get my point across, ok” he can imagine the owl burying his free hand in bi-colored hair and sighing “It’s just, I can’t tell some things to his face”

It’s the same problem they usually have, Bokuto wanting to be overly explicit and Akaashi being far more fragile than he seems “He probably understood what you wanted to say, Bo” he says “It’s Akaashi, he knows you”

“I know” the other all but yells “I know” more softly “But he’s just… he- I can’t stand” Bokuto chokes up on it, even though Kuroo already knows, neither likes to mention it, no one does, they are aware of the effect it can cause and it’s simply not worth it “He’s coming to my house on the weekend though”

And the owl seems a little perked up then “Really?” Tetsuro asks “That’s unexpected”

“Well, he did say he missed me” a soft smile graces Kuroo’s features before the next sentence arrives and winds up mortifying it further than he thought he could be “What about glasses-kun? Any progress, bro?”

Tetsuro frowns “There isn’t much to make progress on Bro”

“Are you kidding!?” this time he does have to pull away from his phone a little “He was eating you up with his eyes during practice”

_Ha, I wish._

“He was sleepy” he says.

“That was definitely not a sleepy look”

“It so was.”

“It wasn’t” the owl says “He looked at you like lev looks at Yaku when he thinks he’s not looking”

“Oh, he did not”

“Kuroo, quit being in negation” the owl deadpans from the other end of the line.

“Look I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me.” He says, and it hurts, just a little “Actually, at this point I’m not very sure that he even stands me”

“That’s not how I- hell, how anyone sees it” and then, it happens, one of Bokuto’s moments of sharpness that rivals surgical steel, those are impressive on the court, they are troublesome outside of it, at least, right now, for Tetsuro “Unless you’re not telling me something”

He thinks about confiding on the owl, but the idea is almost instantaneously discarded, it’s clear that what Kei doesn’t want is for people to know about his insomnia, especially his captain and teammates, and while Bokuto is one of the most reliable people that he has the grace to count among his friends, he doesn’t want to risk on incurring the hate of the blond.

“There’s nothing, Bo, it’s just a feeling I have” he says, suddenly tired, and hears footsteps coming from the end of the corridor that leads to the cafeteria.

“I think you’re going blind Kuroo”

He rolls his eyes “Whatever you say Bo”

“I’m serious”

“I know”

“Fine, be like that, see when I tell you that I told you so”

He knows the conversation is nearing its end, and its sort of a relief, because Kenma is walking down the corridor, headed for him. Tetsuro sighs “Keep me posted about the Akaashi thing, Ok?”

“Sure” Bokuto says from the other side of the line “Tell me when I can gloat, bro”

He laughs “Idiot”

The last thing he hears from the owl is a bellowing laugh before the line cuts off.

Kenma is standing in front of him now.

“Kuro” to anyone else, Kenma looks the same as ever, to someone who has known him for a good ten years, he looks half-elated, half-terrified and like he needs to have a good talk with someone. “It’s chilly inside”

Wordlessly, Tetsuro gets up and follows his childhood friend outside, just at the foot of Shinzen’s famous grassy hill.

“You haven’t been sleeping well” the boy says “What have you been doing at night?”

Studying, mostly” it’s not a complete lie, and it’s not like Kenma hasn’t deducted the truth already and is just trying to get him to admit it out of his own mouth.

“Kuro”

A small hand settles on the place where his neck meets his shoulder, and for the first time in the whole day, Kuroo notices how tense he is.

And so, the dam breaks.

Kenma is different from Bokuto in this, he’s not going to let anything slip, and Kuroo really needs someone to at least listen to all this because it’s confusing as hell.

“So he’s not sleeping?” Kenma says finally, after sitting through Tetsuro’s long winded explanations of both nights, ripe with unnecessary details that he couldn’t help but not in the moment, mesmerizing little things that are so inconsequential that the fact that he even remembers them is proof that he’s perhaps already unsalvageable.

Maybe he’s being melodramatic.

Maybe it’s both.

“Not much from what I’ve seen” he says “Oh and I think he’s starting to hate me for intruding on his not-sleeping so much”

“I… don’t think so” the younger man says “I think he likes you too”

“What’s with all of you people and saying that?” he says, mildly exasperated, Kenma just looks at him.

“We can all see it” Kenma shrugs “he stelas looks at you during morning practice when he thinks you aren’t looking”

“That’s-“

“And you say that he let you sleep on his lap”

“He just-“

“And he uses honorifics with you”

“Hey!-“

“Didn’t you say that he made you coffee?”

“He was just being a decent human being” he sulks.

“Maybe” Kenma says and his cat-like eyes are piercing into Kuroo’s, voice slower than during the barrage of statements “But, he doesn’t try with anyone else” Tetsuro says nothing “You know I’m right, you’re just in denial”

When things are laid out in front of him so clinically clearly, he can’t ignore them fully, Tetsuro is a rational person after all, so _maybe_ Kei likes him, a bit.

He tells Kenma so.

“Good, you’ll know what to do about it” the blonde says, hand absentmindedly playing with his ponytail.

Tetsuro grins teasingly “Even if I choose to hide behind the ball cart every time I see him?”

“Kenma smiles “We both know you wouldn’t do that” and then he’s silent, and Kuroo remembers.

“Now you spill”

Kenma isn’t really surprised, but he’s trying to pretend that he is “Uh”

“You didn’t call me out here just to talk about me”

“Technically, you followed me” The younger says and wraps his arms around his knees.

Tetsuro just shoots him a Look.

And the pokes him repeatedly in the side, and the younger starts squirming. “Let it out” he says “You know you want to, if you don’t, I’ll tickle you until lights out”

“Kuroooo- no… pftttt” Kenma squirms until there are tears on the corners of his eyes and he huffs “Ok, ok, stop”

They both know he _wants_ to, but it's, well, a bit hard to say it, even to Kuroo.

Kenma is looking up at him, lips pressed tightly together, until it just comes out, fast and low and rushed “I think I’m in love with Shouyo”

“Ken…”

It might seem like just a confession, but the very words he’s chosen imply Kenma’s been thinking about it for a while, and though Tetsuro knew it’d end up being so, he’s surprised that it’s come so far so quickly.

“I’m not sure what he feels though”

Tetsuro is not sure either, the little redhead is awfully close to Karasuno’s setter, but they seem more platonic than romantic most of the time.

And then there’s the way his eyes spark when he looks at Kenma “Only one way to find out right?”

Kenma pouts “You’re being a hypocrite” there’s no bite to it, it’s partly the truth after all, but he can’t imagine himself actually asking Tsukishima, at least Hinata would be a little more manageable in case of a fall out, not that he thinks that he and Kenma would have one, the redhead is all sunshine and intensity.

“Well, isn’t everyone?” he says “I’d say he likes you too, if I had to guess”

“Maybe” and then, another rush of words “I invited him over to my house on Saturday”

Kuroo is so surprised that he just blinks, far as he knows, only he and a couple other fortunate souls are as much as allowed inside of Kenma’s room/sanctuary “You what?”

Everyone’s moving forward, maybe, maybe it’s time for him to take a small step to see if the abyss ahead really exists or it’s just a mirage conjured by the mist and uncertainty of his own feelings.

If anything, he can say he tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hc Kenma as being very ticklish, but only being comfortable with people he trusts tickling him, Kuroo takes advantage of it, eventually, so does Hinata.  
> I'll try to make more Kuroo POV for next chapter.  
> I'd love to know how you think I'm doing.  
> Love, Kyrye


	3. Tethered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I really liked writing this chapter, though I’m really starting to wonder how I ever thought this was going to be mostly fluff.

He finds himself aimlessly wandering around Shinzen.

-seriously, does this place not have guards or anything of the sort? -

His ever-constant music is playing and he wishes he had his headset here so he could truly drown in the sound.

Alas, he doesn’t.

Going back to his usual refuge feels like something he doesn’t want to do.

Kei doesn’t want to run into Kuroo, not tonight, not while he’ll have those eyes accusing and unraveling him at his every twitch.

No.

He’s better off walking around like a restless ghost, slinking up and down hallways lined with doors and locker in the almost complete darkness that he has learned to not fear after several years of scattered insomnia attacks.

There was even a time in middle school when he’d go sit in the living room of his house, in winter, particularly, he’d turn on the kotatsu and lie under it, staring at the ceiling and its shapes, listening to music as always.

He stopped because Akiteru found him, once, and it sparked all sorts of awkward, unnecessary questions.

That is probably the reason why he’s doing this right now too.

There are people in the world that, to him are hard to brush off. His brother is, of course, one of the, so are his parents and to some extent, Yamaguchi.

Recently, he has discovered that Kuroo also fits the bill.

And that is what scares and unsettles him the most.

It’s understandable with his family, even with a childhood friend whom can be loose lipped when worried and under pressure.

However, with a former sempai who lives far enough away that even if they both had cars they wouldn’t be able to meet every day, it’s completely senseless, irrational, Kuroo is someone he respects, but there’s no reason for him to be much more, he can barely consider the man a friend taking into account their limited interactions and the fact that the object of most of those has been the one thing they have in common.

Volleyball.

Sometimes it almost seems like the sport is what brings most emotional disasters of his life along with it in some shape or other, or it at least is involved.

Ah, if Kei didn’t love it so much.

_All's fair in love and war, I know, don't get me wrong_

_But if you listen to your heart it may mislead you_

_Lord, I should know; I've felt lost for so long_

His phone has a way of betraying him at times like this, though.

It’ll just spring a song of him that is sure to stir his feelings up in every which way they’ll go.

Such is the case.

He can’t quite deny the attraction he bears towards the older man, and to be sincere, he’s surprised that it didn’t occur to him before. After all, he has known that he’s interested in men for pretty much his whole life –and if anything, he is thankful for having an older brother who _is_ quite straight and willing to give his parents some grandchildren- when the time comes for him to break the truth out to his father –his mother knows, she has for just about forever, so does Akiteru- he’s sure it’ll be more about making him understand, and managing to get through the initial stupor and reprimand than questioning himself for the thousandth time.

And so, he is left with admitting to himself of an attraction that terrifies him, mostly because he’s not sure what he’ll do with it, or how to handle it, and that is not even going into his sleeping issues or even Kuroo’s own feelings.

There’s a little part of his mind that likes to throw shamelessly happy what-ifs his way –they range from gag-provokingly corny to ear-reddeningly explicit-, though thankfully, his much more cynical, rational side takes care of such things with ease, allowing them to float around for a bit, just until he’s absorbed their essence and then proceeds to take them apart, worthless concept by worthless concept, until it leaves them bare, with all their little factual faults plain to see.

This way it’s better.

And so, he wanders and wanders and wanders.

He passes by the corridor where he saw Bokuto and Akaashi a couple of times, he goes out and walks around in the heated ambiance, and when he goes in again, he realizes that the door to the room where he’s spent the last two nights has no light coming from under it.

Ever so cautious, he listens for any sign that there might be someone around.

The door creaks as it opens.

It’s empty.

Kei has half a mind to stay, to lie down in darkness and ace himself some coffee.

Except he doesn’t have coffee and to be alone in there, somehow seems wrong.

Kei closes the door softly as he goes.

.

.

The grass of Shinzen’s famed hill greets his back at exactly four minutes past three in the morning, and the pleasant breeze that makes the blades of grass sway kisses the skin of his cheeks.

It’s as good a place as any, he thinks, staring up at the ceiling.

His aching feet and back thank him.

His tired eyes are indifferent, after all, until the sun rises, they never do quite close.

.

.

He wonders if maybe staying out all night again was an ill-advised decision.

Mostly because _everyone_ is looking at him like he just showed up to breakfast with a gaping head wound and a smile.

Kei ignores them and goes to sit at the table where he and Yamaguchi usually o, his friend too, looks worried, although that was to be expected, he wonders if he really looks that bad.

-after all he never so much as closed his eyes as he stared at Tokyo’s sky-

The real surprise, however, comes when Yamaguchi finishes his meal far faster than he usually does and proceeds to stand up “Tsukki, can I have a word?”

Kei, who has already finished his meal, as per usual, can already feel the dread sliding up his back.

Still, to avoid the curious glances of the half of the team that is still sitting at the table with them, he nods and follows the shorter man outside.

He doesn’t expect what happens, namely, Yamaguchi leading him to Shinzen’s club room and shoving him inside with a muttered “Sorry” that doesn’t quite sound like he’s sorry at all.

The sound of the lock clicking shut behind him makes everything all the more annoying.

Inside, he finds a figure standing in the center of the room clearly expecting him.

“Tsukishima-kun” Ennoshita says “I need to talk to you”

He scoffs, already fed up of this conversation “Well, that is obvious”

“Is it?”

“You got Yamaguchi to bring me here and then had him lock the door”

Ennoshita sighs and Kei leans back against one of the shelves that are laden with volleyball equipment, bracing himself for it as he knows it’s coming.

Kei can be a bit overly cautious sometimes, and especially since the start of this thing, he has wondered how he’d deal with this eventual scenario. Of course, technically, he already has had to, but for some reason, even though he felt cornered when Kuroo pointed it out just yesterday, having Ennoshita here, looking at him with gentle, worried eyes that somehow manage to be stern, has his instinct to flee going into overdrive.

That not to mention that his eyes feel heavy and his body aches and there’s a tension between his temples that for all of his luck will end up in a monstrous headache.

Will they butt in even more if he tries to ask for some medicine for the headache at least?

“Look, I just want to know if we can help you with whatever is going on” Ennoshita starts “You haven’t slept in the room once since camp started, and we- “

“I’m not very comfortable sleeping around other people, Ennoshita-san” he says, it’s a flimsy excuse, and the dark-haired man opens his mouth before Kei hastily follows with “It was pretty tough on me last year, so I’ve been avoiding it”

Of course, even if it is somewhat believable, he can’t hide the physical evidence.

For a second, he even considers buying concealer.

Ennoshita shoots him a look that tells Kei that he’s not convinced “Well where are you sleeping, then?” He says and Kei scoffs as if pretending he believes him will accomplish anything.

Well… there are only so many places. “At the coach’s room”

“And you really don’t think this is taxing on your body”

Ennoshita should know better than try and make Kei admit it on his own, he’s not going to “Do you think it is, _Captain?”_ he hisses “Has it affected my playing?”

“Well, no but- “the older man says.

“Then I’m sure it’s not” Kei looks away, a pang of guilt running through him for the shortest moment as he sees the man’s dejected face “Can you tell Yamaguchi to open up already?”

Ennoshita sighs and walks towards the door, knocking on it three times.

The lock clicks open.

Kei is almost out of the door when a hand with a strong grip closes around his forearm. He turns around to find Ennoshita’s stern face “Don’t try to fool yourself Tsukishima? We all know what’s going on”

“And it is none of your business” he says, his head is starting to hurt from all of these pointless interventions, pointless worry, with everyone looking at him with veiled puppy eyes, at some moments he feels as if he cannot think clearly.

Outside, he meets Yamaguchi’s saddened gaze, he can neither muster up the energy or the anger to say anything or even glare at the boy, so, though he’s annoyed at him, all the green haired man gets for his efforts is a blank stare and to see Kei’s back as he walks down the hallway towards the gyms, trying to remember if it is Nekoma or Shinzen that they have their first game against this morning.

In passing, his reflection in one of the mirrors in the changing room catches his eye.

For some reason he feels like he is deep in a haze of fog as he notices that the eye circles are no longer mauve, they almost resemble a healing bruise.

.

.

.

He gets as much as five minutes of peace and tranquility while the slowly dissipating haze of sleep goes away after he first looks at the clock.

Only then does Tetsuro notice that he’s late.

After the first night in the week when he’s gotten some decent sleep –Because sleeping on Kei’s shoulder for four hours still allows him as much as recuperation as eight hours of uninterrupted sleep in the soft bed that he has been provided- he’s _very_ reluctant to leave the comfortable warmth of his sheets and the fluffiness of the mattress.

And still, he has to.

Hopping out of bed and into the shower is done almost in automatic, so is getting dressed, and it’s not like he ever bothers to try to do anything with his hair anymore.

Tetsuro’s mind is busy with more important, anxiety-inducing stuff.

Last night everything just felt like if fell into place, while the uneasiness was still there, there is no comparison. He was tranquil, with the nervousness only looming over him, not possessing him completely, mind set on the precept that whatever happened would happen and he’d at least get things off his chest.

Now he just feels like a mess of jitters, a trembling heap of whatever it is that makes up feelings.

-Yaku would say it’s neurotransmitters, but he’s off in med school and not here to smack him up the head and tell him to just get it over with already-.

But he knows he has to say it, he wants to do it. Worries aside, if only to be close.

-that’s not to mention the dream he had last night, surprisingly vivid, etching itself behind his eyelids, settling itself over his body, he woke up still feeling the pressure of Tsukishima’s hand around his, and the blonde’s hair brushing his chin-.

-it was a nice dream-.

Breakfast is snatched from a vending machine on his way to the gym.

He smiles, and he hopes.

.

.

He was following the movement from the start, eyes glued to the long, pale appendage from the start, shifting to the ball once the impact was made, resounding with great force all through the gym.

Of course, he also knew Tsukishima was on the back.

And so, his eyes follow Lev’s surprisingly powerful spike.

All the way to Kei’s forehead.

.

.

The five or so meters seem to not exist, his legs take him to the fallen man at once.

He’s surrounded by his teammates, but has already begun to get up, holding what will probably be a pretty nice bruise to accompany the nearly black half-moons under Tsukishima’s eyes.

Tetsuro feels helpless, he doesn’t even get to try to help Kei get up, since he does so on his own and brushes his teammates off, and although he looks a little dazed, well, it seems the hit wasn’t that bad.

-after all, Kuroo knows where the all around tired look of the middle blockers comes from, did Tsukishima sleep as much as ten minutes last night? -

Suddenly, he feels guilty, he imagines Kei sitting alone in the room with the coffee maker and the chill in the air while he was warm in his bed.

Their eyes cross, if only for a second, but there isn’t much emotion in the blonde’s face, he just looks… exhausted.

Kuroo turns around to find the Karasuno coach and Captain talking in hushed voices, seeming worried, finally, Ukai junior stands and proceeds to look at Tsukishima with serious eyes as Ennoshita stands by his side with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Go to the infirmary to lie down for a bit Tsukishima” he says “If you start feeling sick talk to the nurse?”

“I’m fine” the blond growls.

Ukai clenches his teeth a little, seeming like he’s about to say something impertinent, but surprisingly, the meek-looking advisor of Karasuno’s team softly lays a hand over his forearm. Finally, the coach scoffs and takes a deep breath like he’s smoking a cigarette “Just in case”

Kuroo can only watch the younger man’s defeated expression and his slow walk out of the gym.

.

.

The rest of training is spent bouncing his leg irritably and nigh snapping at everyone around him.

Nekomata and Kenma, veritable old man and overly perceptive teenager share worried, yet hopeful glances.

.

.

Thanks to some providence, lunch hour was only an hour away when the ball incident happened.

He heads to the cafeteria with quick steps, and fills his tray up without looking at what he is picking up much, then proceeds to devour the food without much thought.

Throughout the whole thing, all he notices is that Tsukishima never comes in for lunch, and that all of his team seems apprehensive.

The tall blonde’s green haired friend happens to walk by him after he realizes this, and Kuroo wastes no time pulling him aside by his shirt “Uh, Yamaguchi, do you know where Tsukki is?”

It comes out breathy and vulnerable but he doesn’t care.

Yamaguchi’s brown eyes soften “He’s still in the infirmary”

“Oh” is all he manages to say “Is he alright?”

The other man looks down “I think so Kuroo-san”

After the man leaves, Kuro goes back to shoveling food into his mouth, until a slender body slides into the bench beside him, the person sets their tray down and

It is then that he realizes that he forgot to pick up something small to take.

“Ken, I- “his eyes rise to the person’s face, and it’s most definitely not Kenma. “Akaashi”

“Kuroo-san” The man is clad in a too big jersey that looks suspiciously like the one Bokuto brought along two nights ago and he looks pale “How have you been?”

Akaashi is not much of a conversationalist, which makes Tetsuro tense up further, nervous, he steals a glance at the man’s tray, containing a single bowl of vegetables, some wrapped up pastry and some fish to the side.

He then noticed that Akaashi is expecting a response “Uh I… alright, I guess?”

“Are you asking me that?”

The Fukurodani captain gets silence in response.

“I guess it was a stupid question, you’re worried” Akaashi says, pulling up his cutlery and beginning to cut the fish into small, small pieces.

“No, uh- I- “He looks at the man’s face, the unwavering green eyes with slight dark circles under them, although they don’t hold a candle to Kei’s “Am I that obvious?”

“To most people, yes” Akaashi says, staring at the corner of the room where Lev, Hinata, and Nishinoya are holding an eating contest “At least, the ones of us who are observant”

Tetsuro groans and lets his head fall onto his hands “Any advice?”

Because, there’s no other real reason Akaashi would come up to him so upfront about his raging crush, he knows, the man has something to tell him.

Akaashi stretches and looks to the side “Be gentle” He says “But don’t treat him like he’s broken”

“I’m scared I’m gonna fuck it up” he admits “Sometimes, I feel like I can’t read him at all”

Akaashi seems thoughtful for a second “Well, I think that so long as it’s mutual you can’t fuck up much of anything”

A laugh finds its way out of Tetsuro’s mouth, both of them know what Akaashi is talking about “So I’d hope” he picks up his empty tray and stands, he’s free for the afternoon, has his print outs on hand. “I’m going now, thanks, Akaashi”

“Wait” the other man says, Kuroo turns around to find him holding the pastry out at him “He’ll be hungry, probably”

It’s no surprise, the thing had, after all struck him as strange, still a knot rises to his throat “Thanks”

He knows better than to question it.

It’ll all be fine, hopefully.

.

.

The walk through sunlit corridors that smell of spring is eternal, he’s too aware of everything, the crunching of his shoes under his feet and the pounding of his heart in his ears.

.

.

The infirmary is deserted; the nurse is probably gone for her lunch break.

He walks between the twin rows of beds separated by curtains until he reaches the one by the wall, Tetsuro knows that he’ll be there.

It’s not as expected to see him sleeping, glasses set on the table beside him, faint rays of sunlight brushing gently over the pale skin and the swollen eyelids, breathing deep and gentle and peaceful.

He drags a chair as soundlessly as he can to Kei’s bedside, although it seems to make no difference, ironically it appears as if the blond is a light sleeper.

The pastry that Akaashi gave him is set carefully on the bedside table, and with nothing else to do, he pulls his printouts out of the backpack and starts reading.

Two chapters of the principles of law in Japan have gone by before he becomes restless, not for the blond to wake up, because right now nothing makes him more relieved than to see him deep in slumber.

-he’s wanted to, for a while, but not in these circumstances, but that’s beside the point-

He looks up again and his hand wanders, as if possessing its own will to softly brush over the curly hair on the man’s head. It doesn’t matter all that much anymore, he has surrendered to what he feels, it’s not just a crush, although he can’t quite call it love yet, but the indescribable need to see the bay, the man, happy is overwhelming.

After he pulls his hand back from Tsukishima’s head, he notices his phone and earbuds beside the glasses.

Curiosity gets the better of him and he picks it up, there don’t seem to be any messages, but of course, he doesn’t know Kei’s password, the music app, however, appears on the screen with a song paused halfway through.

Carefully, he puts one of Tsukki’s headphone’s in and presses the play button.

_Do you understand?_

_It's only you, beautiful._

_Or don't want anyone._

_If I can choose, it's only you._

_But how could I miscalculate... perfect eyes will have perfect aim._

_If I can choose, it's only you._

With the –surprisingly pretty song- playing, he continues reading, noting how the shadows change as the sun moves outside the window.

“Kuroo-san?”

Brow furrowed, golden eyes are squinting at him.

-Kei looks younger-

His heart all but stops.

“You’re awake” it’s a breathless whisper that comes out of his mouth and Kei fumbles for his glasses on the bedside table.

“Well, that’s a given” the younger says at the frames settle on his face and he blinks to put the world back into focus.

“Listen, Tsukki- “

“I know, I know- “the young man interrupts “Are you going to give me a sermon?”

“Not quite,” he says “I got worried”

“Well, I’m fine”

He straining to find a way to say it, he can’t quite straight up yell the confession at the man. “When Lev’s spike hit you, I- “

“It was just a lapse in judgment” the blonde sighs irritably “I was distracted”

Tetsuro grimaces “I figured” he says “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“That’s none of- “their eyes lock “No” the younger looks away, light gleams off of his glasses, hides his eyes “But that was not it, I manage, I was just thinking about another thing.”

“Haven’t you tried anything, uh like…” he drifts off.

Kei swings his legs over the edge of the bed, his eyes seem slightly less swollen. “I have pills” he sighs. “I left them at home”

“Tsukki-!”

“They make me sluggish” the younger protests “What is it to you anyways?” he says “I appreciate the advice on volleyball, but- “

“Well, I care, ok?” he snaps “You looked more tired each day, I- “

“I can handle it”

He has to do it, he has to, if he doesn’t right now… it doesn’t matter that the words are getting stuck in his throat, hell, he’ll yell, he’ll just blurt it out, right now, Tetsuro just needs to.

“You can’t tell me it didn’t make you feel awful” the blond hesitates “Listen, Tsukki, I just… I need… I’m here because- “

“Tsukishima!” the ginger head is the first thing he spots when he turns around, then he registers the whole of Hinata and Kageyama’s silent, slightly taller than he remembers presence behind the redhead.

“Coach sent us to see how you were” Kageyama explains.

“Ohh, Kuroo-san, you’re here, are we doing extra practice today?”

“I was leaving” He smiles, defeated, out of the corner of his eye he sees Tsukishima’s eyes widen a bit “Not tonight, shrimp, I think Bokuto’ll come around tomorrow though” He leaves Tsukishima’s phone on the table, beside the frozen blond “See you later Tsukki”

As he walks back down the rows of beds, he hears Hinata ask what he was doing there.

_If you only knew, shrimp._

But it’s not over, oh it’s not.

.

.

.

Nothing else to do, Kei walks towards the nurse’s station quietly.

He explains to the nurse that he’s feeling a bit burnt out and just needs to rest for a while, through the strange fog that has taken over him, his head is pounding, and as he lays down on the bed, he confirms with ecstasy that it’s coming, it’s coming.

And finally, finally, his eyes close.

.

.

Kageyama and Hinata heckle at him for a while before they turn on each other and start bickering as they always do.

Absentmindedly, he notices the cat charm hanging from Hinata’s pocket.

He remembers seeing it on another person before.

Interesting.

He is still feeling worn out and irritated, but the fog has cleared, at least he feels functional again and that makes it so much easier.

The way Kuroo left, however, left Kei filled with both anticipation and curiosity.

“C’mon, let’s go back to practice” he says, and when he turns to see if he’s left something, he’s met with the sight of a small, wrapped pastry that was certainly not on the bedside table when he arrived.

It was probably Yamaguchi; he knows Kei likes sweets.

He _is_ quite hungry.

Kei eats it on their way back to the gyms.

As he steps into the court, he gets a stiff nod from Ukai, he probably looks better off, after all.

Practice passes quick, after they step out of the showers, he pulls Yamaguchi aside, while it’s not something he’d usually do, he knows that for a supposed best friend, he has been hard on the other man lately, and, in the end, now that he’s feeling less irritated at the world, he can at least acknowledge that he was more of a snarky little shit than usual.

“Hey, thanks for the pastry” is what he says, however, because he’s not going to start a potentially awkward and annoying conversation.

Yamaguchi looks confused, both at the veiled apology –that only someone who knows Kei would recognize and the statement itself “Uh, what pastry Tsukki?” he says, looking suspicious “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I- “he says as everything falls into place and he berates himself mentally for not even considering the option before “It’s actually nothing, I was confused”

“Uh, ok, Tsukki” the boy says and as if by mutual accord, they both start making their way down the corridor, headed for the dining hall “How did it go with Kuroo-san?”

“Kuroo-san?” he echoes; how would Yamaguchi know that he’d seen the man in the afternoon?

“He asked me where you were after, umm” the man awkwardly points at his head “I told him you were in the infirmary”

“Oh, I see”

The conversation then veers off in another direction, he’s answering automatically, Yamaguchi doesn’t press the issue which is kind of rare, if he wasn’t so embedded in his own thoughts, he might even notice the knowing look in Yamaguchi’s eyes.

.

.

Going back to the room where they sleep after dinner is not something he bothers with doing, even if the spell of insomnia might or might not be over, Kei has a lot to think about, a lot to take in.

.

.

Of course, going to the safe haven with the coffee maker is out of the question, he doesn’t put it past Ennoshita to try and check on him and he certainly is a bit too confused to run into Kuroo right now, even if he doesn’t expect the older man to keep pulling all-nighters with him.

And so, he heads for the hill, just as he did last night.

Kei is not a fool, but this is all messing with his head, so much apparent concern from the older man both fuels his wishful overthinking mind and makes his cynical side rise up in rebellion, and he, is left not quite knowing which side to even try to believe in.

-of course, the rational option is to simply to not set himself up for disappointment but it’s easier said than done-

He even wonders for a second what it’d be like to get up and run to the other’s room to ask just what it is that he was about to say when Hinata interrupted them.

And of course, because the universe seems to really like toying with him, just as he has been toying with the idea, running through every possible scenario in his head, he sees a shadow slink out of the gym, all grace, and slyness.

He would recognize that hair anywhere, especially when it’s backlit by the lamp that hangs above the gym’s entrance.

The man is looking around.

Kei isn’t petrified, but he doesn’t want to move, he wants to see what happens, he wants to know-

Just to realize that the figure’s steps are headed his way steals his breath away

He stares at Kuroo as he comes closer, closer and when the man is in front of him, he just lets himself fall onto the grass, saying nothing, and Kei says nothing either, because he’s too busy being surprised –after the pigheadedness with which he treated the older man this afternoon, it’s strange that Kuroo approaches him so unhesitatingly- and relishing in the warmth that the other man radiates and the distinct smell of Kuroo that permeates the air past spring’s flowery notes.

-it’s lovely, like musk and something slightly citric-

It relaxes him, somehow despite everything, the other man’s presence relaxes him.

Despite his raging crush, despite the attraction.

He turns his head just slightly and finds the other man watching him.

“Kuroo-san” he says “What are you doing out here?”

The other smiles forlornly “Looking for you, what are you doing out here?”

“What I do at night” he says, almost jokingly “Thinking, mostly”

“Is it constant?” Kuroo asks “I mean, the…”

“No” Kei answers, surrendering for once, what does it matter if Kuroo knows anyway? He’s tired of hiding; he trusts this man “It comes in bouts”

“So you just wait it out?”

Kei bites his lip and notices the other’s eyes follow the movement. He turns away “If it goes on for more than five days I’m supposed to take the pills, but I usually stretch it out to seven.” He says “I’ve gotten a little some night this week too”

Kuroo sighs and looks down, and Kei’s gaze curiously drifts back to the man.

As he is about to speak, the other opens his mouth “Can I… tell you something?” the tone is strangely even, with a tilt of something that Kei can’t describe, his throat goes dry and he can only nod “Just let me finish before you say anything, ok?”

Another nod, his heart is pounding in his ears, and he doesn’t want to imagine anything, anticipate anything –although it’s not like it would be easy with all of the buzzing and the white noise that’s currently bouncing around his head- he just listens.

“Ok, so I-I” Kuroo doesn’t seem to be better off though, the older man sounds as choked up as Kei is and there’s a blush stretching from one of his ears to the other which Kei has to fight the urge to lean in and kiss “You don’t have to answer anything, I’ll understand completely if it’s not the way I want it to be, I’m just trying to say that-“  He feels the blood rush to his own face then, he feels his chest expand and warm because this can be nothing else because he can’t contain it and- “I like you”

His mind has registered the words, but he is too baffled to speak.

And yet, those eyes are seeking an answer, trying to read the face that he knows, currently is a mask of indifference aside from the blush.

The dark haired man chuckles in a horribly self-deprecating way, he shakes his head and lowers his eyes, a defeated curve takes over his back “It’s alright” he says when the silence has stretched out for a second too long “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable” and Kuroo starts to draw away, it feels like the fragile ambiance is going to shatter into a million frosty pieces, and when the man is pushing himself up with his hands, Kei slumps forward and catches the other’s forearm in his hands.

He pulls Kuroo back down firmly. “Sit down” his voice is soft “You don’t have to leave”

“Tsukki” he lets his eyes wander up to the man’s face and clash with the other’s.

But his words seem to fail Kei, he slips and chokes of them, he takes a deep breath. “I- I mean that it’s- it’s mutual”

Kuroo looks confused, and then a serious expression takes over his whole face.

Kei swallows hard.

The grass tickles his bare legs pleasantly, and the not quite too hot night that surrounds them seems like it’s forming some sort of dome where there’s only them.

Kei’s a little bit terrified.

He’s hyperaware of every other sensation, although his visual field is lost to the world, but for the part that is completely locked on to Kuroo’s eyes. They are obscured by the dim illumination and the other’s unruly mop of hair, but somehow, he can’t not recognize every little crevice and slope.

He takes a deep breath.

“Tsukki” the other says, in a voice so small that’s barely a whisper, like speaking any louder would break something fragile. Maybe it would “I’m going to kiss you now”

It’s been in every one of the man’s movements since their eyes locked, in that moment which Kei is sure, spanned over several minutes –or several centuries, or maybe the whole insomnia thing has fucked up his sense of time and it really was a nanosecond-, the intention of doing it.

He nods, his throat will probably fail him if he tries to articulate any words.

The kiss is maybe the softest thing he has experienced –well he hasn’t experienced that much either, not in this department- Kuroo’s lips press on his gently, and one of his hands comes to cup Kei’s jaw.

All at once, the tension in his back recedes and he can feel himself melting, one of his hands coming up embrace Kuroo and when the other man notices this, he kisses a little harder, he licks over Kei’s bottom lip, asking to be allowed inside.

And he lets him, but doesn’t slack off either, burying his hands in the older man’s hair and tugging him closer, dragging his teeth over the man’s bottom lip and swallowing the soft sigh that it gets him.

They keep kissing until they have to part for air, a nd then, they kiss some more, until they reach some form of quiet impasse where Kuroo is nuzzling his nose to Kei’s neck and drowning him in comfortable heat and he feels his eyelids drooping if only for how relieved and relaxed he feels.

“I like being with you” the other whispers “I’m glad”

“You’re a sap” Kei snaps without heat.

“Mmm, I am” Tetsuro says “And it’s your fault”

He feels so light.

Kei laughs.

“Hey, Tsukki” Kuroo says after a moment “Don’t get the wrong idea ok?” Kei nods, a bit baffled, though still quite dizzyingly happy “Do you trust me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probs be the last or second to last. As always, I love to hear from you guys.


	4. Merging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, here I am, finally, bearing fluff in great quantity.

Kei’s stunned, that much is obvious. The silence that stretches between them after Tetsuro’s sudden question, however, is by far, not of the uncomfortable or distrustful sort, and that tranquilizes him a little while he waits for the blonde’s answer.

By the time said answer finally comes, it does so in the shape of a vehement, yet quiet nod against the top of his head, where the blonde’s chin currently lies.

-It makes Kuroo’s heart clench somewhat painfully, but it’s not a bad kind of pain-

The dark-haired man plants a last brush of a kiss on the soft skin at Kei’s throat, and pushes himself up, first sitting, then upright.

There are not actual words to describe how elated he feels, he went in expecting rejection, skeptical of what both Kenma and Bokuto tried to make him see, but there is no mistaking the words that fell out of Kei’s mouth, or the soft lips moving hesitatingly against his until they found their pacing. After all, he knew to at least be sure that Kei would never accept him out of pity.

And so, he just… wants to explode, or something, really.

-his heart is still drumming against his ribcage too, beating so loud that he can feel it in his ears just as the slight blush that still sits, though fainter, high on his cheekbones-

Tetsuro turns around to find golden eyes curiously peering at him as their owner lays back against the grass, propped up on his elbows, all long legs and kiss-bruised lips under the lamplight.

It’s still fairly early, for Kei at least.

His hand is extending in the other man’s direction before he can think about it, and is enveloped by the warmth of Kei’s not long after.

Then the blond let’s go “What are you-?”

“Just trust me, c’mon” he says and before Kei can actually spot how hard he’s blushing, his hand closes around the younger man’s wrist and leads him towards the rooms.

Truthfully when the idea first came to him while they laid on the hill, it was vastly different, but in the end, knowing Kei like he did, Tetsuro was well aware of what the younger man needed, and furthermore, what he wanted to be offered, and so, even if he _is_ worried, even if it breaks him to see Tsukishima tired and disoriented, knowing that he can just support him, the plan changed.

All of the coaches seem to already be sleeping.

“Kuroo-san, what are we doing here?”

“Shh” Tetsuro says, as he slides his key into the lock and pushes Kei inside “I guess I didn’t tell you Coach is staying at his daughter’s”

Kei just looks at him, cheeks slightly red, mouth twitching at one of the corners “Kuroo are you- trying to-?”

Great, he got the wrong idea “No, no, Tsukki” he says, blush intensifying “I- the thing is- “

Red faced, Kei looks away “What?”

He’s really so cute “I’m just saying that you can stay here when you can’t sleep” Tetsuro says, taking a deep breath “The faculty room is chilly” and then, with a smirk, if only to hide his own growing embarrassment –having Kei I his room is having _interesting_ effects on him- says “Unless you _want_ to do something else”

Clearly, it isn’t hat the blond was expecting, though to his credit, the situation could hardly be read any other way than Kei had, at first he blushes at the last comment, though both of them know that Tetsuro is just teasing him, yet as it is, Kei’s eyes widen and his lips part if only just slightly. “Won’t I bother you?” he says, looking around at the simple desk and chair and the small bed.

Tetsuro smiles “No” he says “Not at all”

“Oh” Kei says and gingerly sits on the edge of Kuroo’s bed “It won’t be long now though” he mutters, seemingly to himself.

Tetsuro finds himself shifting towards the younger man and sitting beside him “What?”

Tsukishima looks away “The insomnia comes in bouts; I usually don’t last more than five days” he says in a small voice.

“Well…that’s good isn’t it?” Tetsuro says, noting the slight regretful note to the other’s tone, letting his back fall on the bed “How long have you been going for?”

“Around six days?” the blond says “I slept at the nurse’s today though”

Kei’s backlit profile betrays nothing, his mouth is set on a straight line ad his eyes are fixated on some point of the bare wall in front of him, dark circles and all.

The glow of the reading lamp –the only source of light that he bothered to turn on when they came in- makes him look angelic.

Fuck, he’s got it bad, doesn’t he?

“So…?” he says, is Kei saying that he wants to leave, fuck, maybe he overstepped his bounds, this thing has been going on for like half an hour and he already-

Tetsuro chokes a bit “It’s all- “And then he is being crushed by an armful of oddly eager blond.

Tsukishima’s head is buried on the side of his neck and he’s laying soft, almost imperceptible kisses there. When the blond finally looks up and their eyes meet, he’s wearing this smug expression that he can’t quite make slide from his face.

Kei goes red from the roots of his hair and buries his head back where it was “Oh, shut up” he can feel the vibration of the words against his skin.

“I haven’t said anything, Tsukki” he drawls “You’re the one getting flustered. What were you thinking? Hmm, I wonder”

Kei looks up, bewildered and his lips press together into a thin line “You’re a lech” he says, disentangling himself from the embrace.

“A handsome one” Tetsuro says, the mood suddenly having taken a one eighty, he waits until Tsukishima has almost gotten up to wrap his finger’s around the blonde’s slender wrist and pulling him back down, making him fall on top of him in a rather ungraceful heap.

Kei’s head ends up on top of his chest, eyes staring into his.

Tetsuro leans up, and kisses his nose, hands snaking up to the blonde’s sides.

And then proceeds to tickle the life out of Kei.

“You- pftttt” The blonde retaliates with just as much fervency, if only to protect his pride.

.

.

They end up lying upright on the bed, both panting and red faced, Tetsuro can only hope that none of the other coaches heard _that_ the walls are thick, after all.

It’s late enough that he won’t be doing much studying either way.

He smiles at Tsukishima and his eyelids begin to droop.

The last thing he distantly feels is a blanket sliding over him and the heat of someone stretched out by his side.

.

.

He has to scramble to his hone the next morning, its four thirty am and the camp’s activities begin at six thirty.

But see, he’s been getting up at this time when he actually gets any sleep –meaning the night before the last- because he needs the time to study and get ahead in a couple of projects.

At firsts, he thinks of leaving the alarm to ring, but when he remembers all that happened last night and realizes that there’s still a long form pressed up to his in the darkness of the room, Tetsuro finds his body lunging by itself towards the nightstand, where his phone is furiously blaring the most annoying song he was able to find.

Tsukishima doesn’t even flinch, it seems as though he might be a pretty deep sleeper when he does manage to slip into slumber and for it, Tetsuro is grateful, because he’s really behind on things.

Praying it will not wake up the blond, he turns on the reading lamp and with a last look at his –boyfriend’s? - peaceful, sleeping face, sets to work.

For some reason, it is far easier to concentrate than it was yesterday, he figures that it’s because the object of the preoccupation that had been taking over a part of his mind is safe and warm wrapped in Tetsuro’s blankets behind him.

The essay he starts with is almost finished, by some providence, and the other project is fairly interesting, investigative work, and so, he doesn’t mind spending a bit more time on it.

At some point, the light outside becomes enough for him not to need the lamp any more.

When he turns it off, he realizes that he’s still plenty tired.

The clock tells him that it’s five thirty am.

He looks back at the bed.

Kei has curled into himself, not quite making a cocoon out of the blankets, but he does look quite happy.

Tetsuro is almost done with the work.

It’s strange to be doing this, it feels strangely domestic for someone who most definitely wasn’t in a relationship –as undefined as it still is- twelve hours ago, and although he knows it’s unlikely that the blond will wake up with a changed mind about their circumstances, he also wonders of he shouldn’t let Kei have some time to himself.

The choice is easy; dawns are chilly around this time of the year.

He slips on the bed beside Tsukishima, sock clad feet tangling with the other man’s bare ones as he does.

Tetsuro knows his fingers must be chilled, and so, attempts to keep them away from Tsukishima’s skin for so long as they haven’t reached a nice temperature.

Of course, he doesn’t expect a pair of long, graceful hand to come up and encase his, or half open, heavy lidded golden eyes peering back from Kei’s face.

Tsukishima grunts and curls into himself deeper, pressing his face against Tetsuro’s neck.

“Mmm ‘s too early” the words come out muffled from where Tsukishima’s mouth is pressed to his shirt and Tetsuro grudgingly frees one of his hands from Kei’s warm grip to wrap around the other man’s neck.

“Yeah” he says, voice already groggy “Let’s sleep a bit more”

 _Half an hour. Half an hour is alright._ He thinks.

And so, for the second time, falls asleep beside Kei.

.

.

.

The night and morning after a spell of insomnia breaks always feel heavenly, probably because of contrast and comparison, probably because while he usually hasn’t completely recovered his reserves of energy, he’s at least no longer running on a mostly empty tank and sunlight stops seeming as if it has a personal vengeance against his eyes.

This morning, even the bright sun hanging in the cloudless sky doesn’t seem to be much of a bother.

Kei muses this as he looks at it from over a mop of dark hair that sticks out in all directions.

Waking up not once but twice turned out to be twice as bizarre as he thought it would be –in the weird fantasies that he sometimes allowed himself to hide- and twice as nice.

He only hopes things won’t turn awkward out of the blue when they are both at least more or less conscious.

Kuroo sleeps with his mouth half open.

The images that thought brings to his head make a blush rise high on his cheeks.

Tsukishima looks away and surveys the room with his eyes.

His gaze lands on the clock and he squints since his glasses are resting at the nightstand all the way across from Kuroo, where he left them last night.

And his heart jumps.

It’s ten to seven.

Well shit.

He places his hands on Kuroo’s shoulders and shakes him a bit.

The older man blinks up at him, confused, with eyelids still clearly being pulled downwards by their own weight.

“Kuroo-san, practice starts in twenty minutes.”

That gets the man’s attention, his eyes snap open and he almost throws Kei off the bed when he sits up. “Fuck, fuck, can we make it to breakfast?”

Kei shrugs “If we take a shower of about three minutes, I guess” he says “But I need to go get some clothes, I guess I’ll skip”

“I’ll lend you some” Kuroo says quickly “We’re mixing teams today anyway, so no one will be wearing uniforms”

Kei raises an eyebrow, it’s a strategy that the coaches have never used “Are you sure?” he says, tentatively.

“Yeah, Sawamura should’ve told you all last night” he says and it makes sense then that Kei doesn’t know “If you don’t like it you can change at lunch”

Kei thinks it over for a minute, he’s sure Ukai is already pretty pissed off from the stunt yesterday with Lev’s spike and all, and he’s rather not do more laps or sprints up the hill than he has to –he also always keeps a pair of clean underwear in his bag, since they discovered Hinata couldn’t be trusted not to occasionally spill his beverages over innocent bystanders-.

“Ok” he says, feeling a bit more than mortified, sure that his cheeks are currently some sort of fire-hydrant red.

Kuroo laughs at his fluster, although he himself is sporting a similar thing, he smiles crookedly and says in a teasing tone “We are wearing the boyfriend shirt already, huh?”

“I-Idiot” Kei stammers and looks always.

“Oh” he hears the man breathe out “Sorry, did I say that too soon?”

“With eyes glued to the ground, Kei answers “N-No it’s fine” then he looks back at the man “Anyways, it’s not like your shirt will be very long on me either way”

Kuroo chuckles “No, I guess not” He leans in and quickly presses his lips to Kei’s, causing him to go even redder and freeze as the man gets up, only regaining control over his flustered self when the promised clothes hit his face.

A black T-shirt and black shorts.

Well, Kuroo could have been crueler –given him something Nekoma red to wear for instance- so Kei gets up while the dark haired man opens the door.

And they find themselves face to face with Takeda, fist raised as if meaning to knock.

“Kuroo-kun, sorry to- “The teacher looks between the two –because really, how _else_ could anyone interpret the scene they’re currently in- blushes as he always does when Ukai compliments him, and smiles a little knowing smile “I-I’ll just go tell Ukai-san you t-two- I mean y-you Tsukishima are ok”

“And then he’s gone, blushing head ducking down the corridor, before Kei can say anything –not that he knows what to-.

They look at each other, burst out laughing and then head for the showers.

.

.

As it turns out, Kuroo’s shirt isn’t long on him and the shorts fit well enough.

However, the shirt _is_ quite loose from where the other man’s body has stretched it –especially, Kei notes, the broad shoulders and thick chest-.

-he should know, he’s spent his fair amount of time ogling the older man both this year and the last-

Ennoshita and Akaashi seem to notice and he finds himself getting flustered, but Kuroo’s reassuring smile never ceases to be close by in those moments and, feeling quite a bit more rested and fully overwhelmed by his feelings for the man, Kei lets the insecurities go, for once.

.

.

Lunch, also, is pretty eventful, he’s about to go sit at the end of Karasuno’s table with Yamaguchi when he notices everyone staring at him.

“What?” he barks, confused.

And then Hinata is in front of him and Noya and Tanaka are by his sides.

“We saaaw you” the two older men start “We saaaaaw you” they croon like ghosts from an old movie and out of reflex, Kei pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, even if the things are not sliding down.

“You’re going to have to be more specific” he says drily to the two upperclassmen.

And then Hinata interjects, with a teasing, sickeningly sweet voice “You should have told us Tsukishima” he says.

“It was obvious, boke!” a disgruntled Kageyama pipes in from behind his milk.

“You only say that because they told you first” the redhead protests.

“Anyway, that’s a way to go Tsukki” Tanaka says.

“Don’t call me that!” Kei says “And what the hell are you talking about?”

“We saw” Tanaka says “Takeda-sensei all flustered running down the corridor”

“And because we are all helpful and nice like that” Noya continues “We went to check out what was going on”

“And we saw two little disheveled lovebirds” Tanaka smirks.

Yeah, he was right.

“Leaving a certain room” Noya finishes.

Of all of the ways the team could’ve found out.

“Sooo” Hinata says sparkly, mischievous eyes and all “Aren’t you going to sit with Kuroo-san?”

“Wha- Why?” he chokes out.

Noya jumps right to the bait “Unless it’s y’know, _that_ kind of relationship”

Tanaka frowns “Is it?”

“Is it?”

“Ohhhhh do you think Tsukishima-?” Hinata says “Is i- “

Kei has been shooting Yamaguchi looks that plead for help but the green-haired man seems as amused as everyone else and so, Kei has never been more grateful to have a heavy arm fall around his shoulders accompanied by a grave voice “It most definitely is not”

Tetsuro is standing beside him, wearing that smirk of his and somehow holding a tray of food with only one hand.

He somewhat feels like all of his brain function has stopped. “C’mon, Tsukki, let’s sit”

The older man says, waiting for no one. It is only then that Kei realizes that Yamaguchi has switched sides on the table to make space, the little traitor –although that puts him right beside Yachi, so it really only puts the green-haired boy in a potentially awkward situation-.

He nods mutely as they sit, and Ennoshita orders everyone else to stand down while giving Kuroo an overprotective glare that Sawamura would have been proud off.

As they start eating, Kei mutters a quiet “Thanks” in Kuroo’s direction.

He feels the fingers of the man’s right hand brushing against the back of his and then Tetsuro is smiling “Anytime Tsukki”

.

.

After the faintly eventful lunch –and the fact that while he’s relieved that everyone is taking his new relationship as well as they are, it also so happens that they are a bunch of nosy people- and being very aware of the fact that everyone else that sort of matter already seems to know, he decides to just throw everything to the wind and have dinner outside in the grassy hill with his boyfriend.

-everyone who _doesn’t_ matter and some of those who do is gawking and he _’_ s tired after a long day of practice, Kuroo suggested the idea and it seemed alright-

At least it would be very much fine if they could get out of the line already.

“You need more protein Tsukki” there’s a smile in Kuroo’s eyes but his voice is serious “And vitamin K too.” He says, offering Kei a heap of something green and vaguely bitter smelling.

The blond frowns “I hate kale”

Kuroo smirks “Some spinach then?” He lifts yet another heap of vegetables, at least these aren’t stewed.

He’s sure his nose is wrinkling and yet, they _are_ holding up the line “Fine”

“Oh Tsukki, don’t make that face” The older man says, somewhat dramatically “You need to eat more, especially veggies”

“I don’t eat heavy at night” he deadpans.

“But when you do eat heavy all you eat is carbs” Kuroo whines.

“You- Have you been looking at me eat?” Kei says and then it’s Kuroo’s turn to flush.

“Uh- I- Well I’m used to it since A- Kenma is always eating processed sugars and- “he flushes harder.

Tsukishima laughs, it’s out of concern, he knows and then scoffs a little “Whatever, you food nerd”

Kuroo laughs then too “An apple?” he offers.

“A banana” Kei concedes and they finally get to walk outside into the crisp air.

They sit at the foot of the hill, very close to the place where Kuroo found him last night, and eat in comfortable silence, exchanging the odd quip and many looks that end in someone blushing.

When they’re done, they both lay back into the grass, trays left on one side and hands brushing at the knuckles until Kei figures Kuroo isn’t going to do it and laces his fingers through the older man’s looking away stubbornly.

“Bokuto’s coming over tomorrow” Kuroo says in a quiet voice, after all, it’s only them and the cicadas. “You wanna cram in some practice then?”

Kei chuckles “I’m gonna block that Owl, yes” and then he yawns.

Kuroo perks up “Are you tired?”

“A bit” Tsukishima says turning to the side to stare at the other man “I’m recovering sleep after all”

“Right” Kuroo says and his hand rises to brush along Kei’s cheeks and the dark, bruise-like purple circles that still frame his eyes “You look better, you know?”

“I slept well” Kei whispers.

“Glad I could be of help”

“Uhh” he closes his eyes, leaning into the touch “Can I? I mean again?”

“Anytime” Kuroo says.

Most people are already asleep when he goes inside, Yamaguchi looks happily at him and Kageyama grunts, Kei gets his clothes and exits the room as quietly as he can.

.

.

.

“I. Knew. It.” If just about the fourth thing Bokuto says after he sees them so much as stand around and talk –well it’s not like Kei doesn’t derive a sick pleasure of flustering people with his relationship, which Tetsuro discovered this morning, when he was pulled into a sloppy kiss over the shower stalls just as Hinata was passing by- and then he’s being crushed in a hug that very much felt like a pair of giant pliers just closed up around him. “Congratulations, bro”

He turns to find Akaashi and Tsukishima having a completely calm conversation about something or the other, side eyeing them as if they were impressed by their respective boyfriend’s antics.

-which is unfair, he hasn’t done a thing yet-

“Bro, we can go on double dates now!” Bokuto says, allowing Tetsuro to bring some air back into his lungs.

“And go to games, the four of us” he says, both sincerely and to see Kei flinch at his enthusiasm.

And then the Owl turns to Tsukishima “So Tsukishima” the owl says, wiggling his eyebrows “How’d he pop the question?”

“At the hill” the blond deadpans “Don’t make it sound like we’re getting married Bokuto-san”

“Ohh, was it romantic?” the gray haired man asks “Oh but you will someday, the romance is strong in you two”

Akaashi interjects “Koutarou, has Oikawa-san been showing space movies again”

“Akaashi, you recognize the reference?” the owl turns to his own boyfriend with shiny eyes and Kei sends a grateful look at the dark haired man.

“Yes, I _have_ watched Star Wars” the man responds.

Tsukishima turns to look at Tetsuro, confusion in his eyes, and he just shrugs at whatever his best friend is talking about, he really has no idea.

“You guys haven’t watched it?” Bokuto asks and both of them shake their heads “It’s the best! When Tsukki comes to visit we have to get together and do a marathon”

Oikawa has certainly been an influence on Bokuto –whenever they both don’t get too caught up in practice until one of their respective boyfriends comes to make sure they’re getting enough rest- he tells Kei so, and the blond laughs.

Hinata, Lev and a couple of first years arrive and training starts.

He’s in too deep.

And it’s completely all right.

.

.

“So you’re asking me to spend the night at my place?” he says, not quite fully understanding the situation.

Kei’s voice comes through the phone sounding weary “Yeah, Saeko-san decided to bring Tanaka along after all and he’s saying until Thursday, whereas I’m leaving tomorrow and he snores” he says “Besides, my brother and she are disgustingly mushy”

Tetsuro chuckles “Well, we aren’t really ones to talk” he teases “But yeah, It’s alright, I’ll come pick you up and take you to the station tomorrow, it’s a study apartment, so there’s only one bed, you know what that means don’t you Tsukki?”

The blond sounds amused “You talk like we didn’t sleep together for almost a week”

“Tsukki, you’re supposed to get flustered!” he whines.

“I can bet you’re redder than I am” the man says.

Tetsuro blushes harder “N-No”

“Anyway” the blonde suddenly mutters, almost like he’s talking to himself and Tetsuro has to strain to catch what he says later “It’s not like I’d mind”

“Wha- Tsukki- “His face heats up more and the blond does seem flustered now.

“I’ll wait for you here then?” he says quickly “At…”

“I get off at four” Ahh wrong wording “I mean from class”

Kei huffs “I know; I’ll be waiting”

“Yeah, see you”

“See you Kuroo”

And he hangs up.

.

.

Tsukishima Akiteru opens the door, as is normal, because it’s his apartment.

Tetsuro repeats this mantra in his head as the blond man leads him down a long corridor, explaining something or the other about the schematics of the building that is apparently the cause for the length of the corridor, though all he can really think of is that he’s meeting Tsukishima’s brother and he really should have dressed better than whatever he could throw on when he realized that he was late for a seven am lecture –all of which should burn, it’s not like most people are awake-.

Akiteru doesn’t seem too much notice, he’s still talking “…thankful, we only made up just recently and I guess it’s normal a boy his age is uncomfortable around me and Saeko” the man says, all levelheaded and smiley.

Tetsuro nods awkwardly “It’s no problem, Tsukishima-san”

“Call me Akiteru” he says as they enter the living room “It’s going to be confusing otherwise”

The thing is that he doesn’t know if Kei has told his brother anything or if he wants the man to know at all and so he’s not sure what he’s supposed to say “Ok, Akiteru-san”

“So he told me you two met playing volleyball” the man says.

“Yeah, last year I was still in high school, we met at a practice match”

“Come take a seat” the man says “He said he’d be down soon” Tetsuro does “That’s nice, what position do you play?”

“Middle blocker” he answers.

“Oh, same as Kei” He smiles, when he does, he looks an uncanny lot like Kei “Wait, you wouldn’t happen to be that sempai who taught him how to block, could you?”

Kuroo smirks “The one and only”

“Thanks for taking good care of him” the man sighs “I play too; you know? I’m a wing spiker, f

or a while I thought I had turned Kei off of it all together”

It does quite sound like the man needs reassurance “Nah, he likes it too much”

“I guess- “

From the corridor that apparently connects with the bedrooms appears a tall shape with two duffel bags hanging from his shoulders.

“What are you telling him, Nii-chan” Kei says.

The other blond raises an eyebrow in a surprisingly familiar gesture “Just be careful I haven’t broken out the photo albums”

“You have photo albums?” Kuroo chimes in, excited.

“He doesn’t” Kei snaps “Mom has them”

“She _might_ have made me copies when I asked” Akiteru says mischievously.

“No” Kei growls.

“Yes” Tetsuro says “I want to see” at the same time, out of reflex, he grabs Kei’s outstretched hand and is pulled to his feet.

“We are going to miss the train Kuroo-san”

“Uh but we’re not- “a sharp look shuts him up and he laughs. “Tsukki” Tetsuro whines.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for dinner?” Akiteru says “Saeko and Ryuu-kun should be arriving soon”

With just one look from Kei and the very fact that he is still confused as to what he can and cannot say in front of this man, Tetsuro shakes his head “Another time, Akiteru-san”

They say their goodbyes and not long after he’s outside, breathing in the city’s air and looking at Kei’s face as the dimming light of afternoon washes over it.

Before he really knows what’s going on, the blond is kissing him.

They part after a couple of moments, both red faced and panting, smiling like two loons, Tetsuro take some of Kei’s bags and they start walking “Wait, I forgot to ask” he says after a while “Does your brother know about us? I wasn’t sure how to talk with him”

“Uh, well no?” Kei says and quickly reassures “It’s not like I’m not gonna tell him eventually” he shrugs “It’s just that he would have been a bit more against me staying over today”

“He’d think I’m going to defile you?” he says with a smirk, recalling their conversation the night before.

“You said it” Kei chuckles “He’s not that crazy, though, he’d be cool with it”

 “Me defiling you?” Tetsuro says, faking a scandalized tone.

Kei laughs “You _know_ I meant the other part” he snorts “But I hardly think you’d be defiling me”

“Hmm” Tetsuro says wrapping an arm around Kei’s waist and nuzzling his neck. “And why is that?”

Kei pretends to think hard about it, the light turns to red and they stop, the cars zoom by in front of them “Perhaps because I have a feeling you’re not Mr. experience himself” he says nuzzling his cheek to Kuroo’s head “Perhaps because I might enjoy it” and he sounds strangely hopeful.

.

.

.

The doorbell rings and soon he’s greeted by two arguing blurs of energy.

Sometimes Akiteru wonders what the hell he’s getting into.

“Hey, where’s the French fry?” Ryuunosuke says.

“Kei is spending the night at a friend’s” He says, amused.

“What friend?” Both Saeko and her brother ask as they all unload their stuff.

“He said his name was Kuroo Tetsuro” Akiteru says simply.

And for some reason, this provokes a burst of laughter from the younger Tanaka “Those two, they’re going fast”

“What do you mean Ryuu-kun?” he asks, confused.

The bald man beams “They’re not friends, that’s Tsukishima’s boyfriend”

“His- his- what?” His brain sort of seems like it has stopped working, his little brother is off with his boyfriend and he is surrounded by cackling Tanakas, one of which is trying to reassure him, through her tears of laughter that they’ll probably just want to cuddle.

Oh how he plans to talk with this Kuroo Tetsuro the next time they meet.

.

.

It’s as if the electricity that started charging the air the very moment that Kei pronounced those words and the light turned back to green suddenly came to a point where it couldn’t be contained and is racing through their bodies everywhere they touch, everywhere their skin so much as brushes with one another’s.

He’s only had time to close the door, not even to turn off the light when Kei has readily pushed him against the door and kissed him like he wants to suck his soul out through his mouth.

-it’s an interesting prospect, he imagines, it’s not like he’s in better shape, Tetsuro things, as they break the kiss for Kei’s sweater to go over his head and to the ground-

Kei’s assertion as mostly right, while because of their difference in age, he has had more time than the young man to fool around with girlfriends and boyfriends, it has never gotten quite this serious or quite this emotional, he has never felt like this about anyone, and thus, he has never done this with anyone, mostly because the circumstances were never perfect and he never felt strongly enough to try and push the circumstances towards perfection, and eventually everyone moved on and things fizzled out and it felt so natural that there wasn’t even a bitter aftertaste to it, just one day and the next, with volleyball and his friends and his team and his grades.

And yet with Tsukishima, with however little time they have spent as a couple, with however little time they have spent together in general, he’s found himself attached enough to find it an unbearable prospect if the blond were to suddenly or gradually just fade away from his life. With him, he’s going to need reassurance and texts and skype calls at two am when the other can’t sleep and Tetsuro has to finish his coursework.

It’s different, far more intense, the difference between firecrackers and fireworks, though by far nor so ephemeral, and having Kei’s lips sucking at his neck, his nose brushing the underside of Tetsuro’s jaw just ignites something in him.

Carefully, his hands come to cup the sides of Kei’s face and bring him up, up so he’s looming over him slightly, and then, after briefly meeting the other’s desire-clouded eyes, he surges up and Kisses the blond man with all he has, and with both of them inexperienced at kisses this passionate, it ends up being all teeth pulling at lips and tongues soothing the slight prickles of pain that the teeth leave in their wake.

Kei soon gets rid of Tetsuro’s cardigan and his shirt too and of course, it isn’t long before the older man is tugging them both towards the bedroom.

Tetsuro’s head is floating and he feels like he has forgotten the placement of the scant furniture that he owns –taking into account that his parents only gave him so much-  when they keep tripping over it and at one point Kei tried to shove him down on the couch and suggest they stay there while his hands busy themselves with Kuroo’s belt.

But he wants to be with the man in his room, in his bed, when tomorrow he’ll leave Kei at the train platform smelling like him all over after a nice breakfast –because he has class at eleven, for once- and when he comes back, he knows his bed will smell like him.

So he pulls the man along, both giggling, drunk on lust and love.

-and his pants stay at the foot of the couch, Kei’s own just outside his bedroom door-

They find the bed like they’ve found everything else, stumbling and quite falling on it, Kei with his legs on either side of Tetsuro’s body.

Here, there’s more light from outside and he can see Kei’s gleaming eyes and his blown pupils, set in the blond man’s pale face where there’s already only barely a trace of the signs of exhaustion that scared Tetsuro so one week ago, he’s seeing new parts of Kei every day and he loves it.

His fingers run up and down the young man’s torso, feeling the hardness of his muscles and the slight dip at each of his ribs, Kei’s slender and pale, he’s lean and tall, Kei’s the man he’s come to love, everything of his from his scowls to the breathy moans that he’s letting out every single time that the pads of Tetsuro’s thumbs tease at his nipples.

They’re brushing against each other in every way possible, he can feel how Kei’s hard on is pressing up against his stomach and how his own is rubbing between the blond’s legs.

Slender hands catch onto the rim of his underwear and pull down, slightly shaky, for the first time since they entered the apartment seeming unsure.

Equally shaking, Tetsuro’s hands gently push Kei to the side and He finished removing the garment himself, then proceeds to Drag Kei’s own dark blue boxers off of him.

And so, they are there, staring at each other so intensely and intimately that when Kei speaks it’s almost like the breaking of the silence around them makes a noise itself “Tetsu, come here” he says, raising his arms, and Tetsuro can’t help but turn his body around full, as unsure of what he is doing as he is, as they are, he lays his body across Kei’s and Kisses him with as much fervency as he dares to without feeling like he’ll combust.

They touch, they brush and rut against each other, each learning with every movement and every sound, Kei prideful, biting onto his lip not to let any moans out, Tetsuro plucking them from him.

Tetsuro, jerking up when he finally does come and Finding Kei watching him with the most beautiful expression –between amusement and love- before the pleasure catches up to him too, and then it’s Tetsuro’s turn to see and Oh, it’s marvelous.

This time around, it is he, who pulls the covers up over both of their tired bodies.

.

.

He kisses his boyfriend in the lips, thein in the nose and the forehead “I’ll see you soon”

“Yeah, you sap” Kei says with fondness, stepping into the train “I left something for you on your bed”

-he didn’t see anything when they left, well, it _was_ after all, Kei that insisted on making the bed-

“Uh- Wha-?” but Kei has stolen one last peck from him and stepped inside the train already.

.

.

_And I'm so impatient when you're not mine_

_I just want to catch up on all the lost times_

_And I'll say I'm sorry if I sound sordid_

_Cause all I really ever want is you_

He keeps the mix tape playing for most of the month afterwards –well it’s in a pen drive, but that doesn’t sound quite as cute-. Once he got home, he found it, sitting innocently on top of his bed, without so much as a note or anything to identify it except for Kei’s words back at the station.

Every time that they Skype, Kei hears it playing and looks smug although he also blushes.

They have met twice since Kei went back home, and he’s coming to spend a good part of his summer break with Akiteru –whom he now has met again, as Kei’s boyfriend, and the blond was right, he’s not scary, and did in fact show him the albums when he asked- so they’ll hang out with everyone.

His life wasn’t messed up before, but it suddenly feels like a burst of happiness has taken over everything in a very short time, in the flash of an eyes, Kenma and Hinata are tentatively dating and Bokuto and Akaashi seem to be doing well with their problems. His grades have kept up, everyone from old Nekoma is happy, and he feels lucky to be part of everything.

He lets the heavy book bag fall on his bed that does indeed still smell of his boyfriend from the last time he visited and immediately turns at the laptop sitting at the edge of it, turning it on and seeing that there’s a new message waiting for him.

**Tsukishima Kei:** _Are you free to talk tonight?_

_._

_._

_._

He sends the same phrase he always has in this cases, he knows Tetsuro will understand without him having to type it out, if there’s anything he loves about having a boyfriend so perceptive, it’s that he can tell these things.

**Kuroo Tetsuro:** _All night, Moonshine._

**Kuroo Tetsuro:** _It’s starting again huh?_

Kei’s fingertips brush softly over the newly reborn dark circles under his eyes, it started again late last night, but he didn’t want to trouble the older man with it.

-He knows, he knows Tetsuro wouldn’t have a problem with it, but he can deal with it for himself.

**Tsukishima Kei:** _You sure? You have class early tomorrow._

**Kuroo Tetsuro:** _Nah, ‘s alright, I had to pull an all-nighter anyway._

He hesitates over what to write next.

**Kuroo Tetsuro:** _Kei?_

**Kuroo Tetsuro:** _You know it’s alright don’t you?_

_You have an incoming call from **Kuroo Tetsuro**_

Kei presses the accept call button with slightly shaking fingers, the first thing that comes on is the sound, for some reason Tetsuro’s computer tends to be slow connecting the video, so at first, he’s treated to his boyfriends muttering and the faint sound of a song in the background.

_Let the world keep its carnival pace_

_I prefer to look into your beautiful face_

_What a waste_

_Let the stars continue to fly by_

_I don't have one desire to understand why_

_I don't try_

These days, his boyfriend is always playing that mix, has been ever since he found it sitting on his bed, though in his brief visits, Kei has updated it a few times with little things that he finds every other day.

Sometimes his own choices embarrass him because to his own mortification, it is after he’s added them that he realizes how corny some of them are and furthermore, that those are his actual, honest feelings towards Tetsuro, that he has stopped denying anything over the course of these two months.

How happy he is despite everything, the insomnia and the idiots and history class.

His insomnia has not changed, and as always, he rides it out, but these days it’s different, of course, he doesn’t have Tetsuro beside him on the bed to cage him in his arms and kiss his aching eyes, but the man does his best to stand by Kei in unique ways, always reminding him that it’s just a question of not resisting it when it finally ends and actually taking the pills after five days instead of seven.

-Kuroo even tried to sing him to sleep once, the insomnia was having none of that, but his voice is pretty impressive, deep and rich, if he didn’t get sleep, at least he relaxed-.

And so whether with his boyfriend’s arms around him or his voice coming from the computer, he feels close, of course, the distance is had to handle, but they manage, they’ll manage until they can spend more time together.

He believes in that much.

The video feed finally comes through.

Tetsuro is smiling, he also looks tired “Hello, Moonshine”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s it folks. I’m sorry for the delay with this last one, I’ve had a pretty difficult couple of weeks and was only able to write one chapter of something before –besides, I wasn’t in a mood for fluff and didn’t want to end up writing any angsty plot twists into something that was meant to be pure fluff-.  
> Anyways, I had a blast.  
> Lots of love and I’d love to hear what you think -constructive criticism is very well recieved-.  
> Kyrye

**Author's Note:**

> This'll probably be around 3-4 chapters. I'd love to hear what you think.


End file.
